I follow my enthusiasm by reading…a lot. And once a month, I share (some of) the books I read last month and the books I intend to read this month. You can join the informal book club by sharing your own list with me on Facebook and find all the posts here.
Pathways to Possibility, by Rosamund Zander (I also reread her first book this month) – If you feel stuck and without options, Zander's books are an excellent reminder that there's always possibility, it's just a matter of reframing.
Invisible Man, by Ralph Ellison – This book has been on my Great Books list forever, and after watching Luke Cage read it, I got it from the library. Soooo good. And if you liked Luke Cage, you should totally read this book.
The Trespasser, by Tana French – If you've been reading these posts for long, you know I fell in love with French's writing last summer. So as soon as this book came out, I picked it up from my local bookstore.
Last week, I encouraged you to accept compliments, and boy, was it hard! One of the things I noticed in many challenger's posts (you can see them all here) was doubt about the validity of compliments. There was a lot of discounting compliments as not “real,” or the complimenter as not really knowing enough to have a valid compliment. In other words, even when you TRY to accept other people's compliments (and comments about your worthiness and awesomeness)… it's never enough.
Another person can never give you enough validation to make you feel confident if you aren't already.
Today, we’re going to talk about the step you can take today, with or without confidence, to move forward in your business: Permission.
The Biz Confidence Challenge is LIVE once again (if you haven't joined us, it's not too late – sign up here!). The Challenge is a 6-week practice in building confidence in yourself, so you can move forward in your business. Each week I send one challenge for you to do and then share on Instagram (with the hashtag #bizconfidencechallenge), then I explain how that challenge will build your confidence in the next episode of the podcast, and then we dive even deeper and I'll share my own answer to the challenge + your reactions + I answer your questions in a weekly live webinar, each Thursday.
Wow, your hair looks fantastic today! Your business is really taking off! I love your shoes! Your work is beautiful!
If I said this to you, face-to-face, how would you react?
If you're like most women, you will probably deflect, laugh it off, or flat out argue with me (and studies show that if you're a man, or are already pretty confident, you probably won’t.)
This week's #BizConfidenceChallenge is simple, but SO HARD for many of us: Accept all compliments.
It's not as easy as it sounds, but it's sooooo important for personal AND professional reasons!
In this episode, we'll discuss:
How to accept a compliment
How NOT accepting a compliment undermines your reputation
Do you need to spend more time spotting and celebrating your successes? We do this every week inside the Starship. It only opens once a quarter, but you can learn more (and sign up to be notified when it opens next) right here: https://taraswiger.com/starshipbiz
The Biz Confidence Challenge is LIVE once again (if you haven't joined us, it's not too late – sign up at the bottom of this post!). The Challenge is a 6-week practice in building confidence in yourself, so you can move forward in your business. Each week I send one challenge for you to do and then share on Instagram (with the hashtag #bizconfidencechallenge), then I explain how that challenge will build your confidence in the next episode of the podcast, and then we dive even deeper and I'll share my own answer to the challenge + your reactions + I answer your questions in a weekly live webinar, each Thursday.
The reaction to the Biz Confidence Challenge so far blows me away. YOU have so much to be proud of, you have so much to build your confidence on! So… what’s up with the self-doubt?
Why do you doubt you can do awesome things when you’ve already done SO MUCH?
Often self-doubt (or lack of confidence) is tied to fear – we hold ourselves back (or think we're not good enough), not because we have any proof, but because we're waiting on… something.
You may not have even thought of it consciously before, but if you aren't taking the action you want to take, you're waiting on something.
In this episode, I'm full of questions – and you can get a FREE worksheet to help you answer them when you sign up to join the Biz Confidence Challenge, below!
Listen along with your free workbook so you can figure it out – what are YOU waiting for?
A new round of the (live) Biz Confidence Challenge started this week (if you haven't joined us, it's not too late – sign up at the bottom of this post!). The Challenge is a 6-week practice in building confidence in yourself, so you can move forward in your business. Each week I send one challenge for you to do and then share on Instagram (with the hashtag #bizconfidencechallenge), then I explain how that challenge will build your confidence in the next episode of the podcast, and then we dive even deeper and I'll share my own answer to the challenge + your reactions + I answer your questions in a weekly live webinar, each Thursday.
It isn’t about believing you can doanything (that’s just arrogance).
Confidence is about believing that you can handle anything. That you will survive anything. That you will be ok. Even if you do the scary thing. Even if there’s a scary outcome.
In this episode, we'll cover:
the importance of confidence – why it actually matters
how failing at things can actually improve your confidence
the importance of mindset
P.S. We'll be covering this topic more in a FREE webinar on Thursday, so make sure you sign up for the Biz Confidence Challenge (below) to get all the details!
A new round of the (live) Biz Confidence Challenge started last week (if you haven't joined us, it's not too late – sign up at the bottom of this post!). The Challenge is a 6-week practice in building confidence in yourself, so you can move forward in your business. Each week I send one challenge for you to do and then share on Instagram (with the hashtag #bizconfidencechallenge), then I explain how that challenge will build your confidence in the next episode of the podcast, and then we dive even deeper and I'll share my own answer to the challenge + your reactions + I answer your questions in a weekly live webinar, each Thursday.
I follow my enthusiasm by reading…a lot. And once a month, I share (some of) the books I read last month and the books I intend to read this month. You can join the informal book club by sharing your own list with me on Facebook and find all the posts here.
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big, by Scott Adams – I took copious notes on this book! In it, the Dilbert cartoonist explains how he reached crazy goals (spoiler alert: systems!). So you know I loved it and recommend it.
The Improv Handbook for Modern Quilters, by Sherri Lynn Wood – Oh man. I love this book. It gave me so many quilty ideas! It's exactly the kind of craft book I love – lots of ideas + inspiration + “how to think” stuff, without step by step instructions (which I never follow anyhow).
Leaving the Saints, by Martha Beck – Oof. I thought I was reading a (well-written) book about the author leaving the Latter Day Saints. And then it turns into so much more. It gutted me and I'll be thinking about it for a long time.
The Well-Educated Mind: A Guide to the Classical Education You Never Had, by Susan Wise Bauer – Yes, the author is a bit sniffy about those of us who haven't had a “classical education” but I always say what I learned in college wasn't so much conjugating French verbs but HOW to learn anything, and how to think critically. This book gives you the tools to apply that critical thinking to both fiction and non-fiction. It also provides a list of books in literature, history and philosophy to round out your classical education. Since it's a library book, I didn't read the blurbs for all the suggested books, but I did take notes on critical method and the books I haven't yet read. (I started a new note keeping system during reading, would you like to see it? Lemme know on Facebook!)
Year of Reading Dangerously, by Andy Miller – The above book led me to the “reading” section of my library (meta!) where I found this. Funny, interesting, and definitely got me re-excited about my Great Books project. (My list is here.)
Love Warrior, by Glennon Doyle-Melton – Like I said last month, I found Glennon's blog, read a ton of her archives and immediately checked her first book out from the library. And then her next book came out and I snatched it up… and then it was named Oprah's next Book Club pick. I hope that won't turn you off from this, a totally gripping memoir about a woman's understanding of herself, as a woman, in this world that objectifies and sexualizes us.
All the Things We Never Knew, by Sheila Hamilton – Another memoir! This one by a woman who slowly uncovers her husband's mental health diagnosis and struggles to keep him safe and alive, even after it's totally destroyed their relationship.
I need some more recommendations! Tell me on Twitter or Facebook!
Yeah, so I read a LOT this month. I didn't even share them all here (I skipped the ones I didn't love, or wouldn't recommend.) Here's to another great month of reading!
This week's challenge in the Biz Confidence challenge was to list 3 things you're proud of. Not just list them for yourself, but share them with the community on Instagram, using the hashtag #bizconfidencechallenge. And friends, this is hard! Today we're going to talk about why it's hard, and why you need to do it.
A new round of the (live) Biz Confidence Challenge started this week (if you haven't joined us, it's not too late – sign up at the bottom of this post!). The Challenge is a 6-week practice in building confidence in yourself, so you can move forward in your business. Each week I send one challenge for you to do and then share on Instagram (with the hashtag #bizconfidencechallenge), then I explain how that challenge will build your confidence in the next episode of the podcast, and then we dive even deeper and I'll share my own answer to the challenge + your reactions + I answer your questions in a weekly live webinar, each Thursday.
When I said, in episode 123, that you can build your business, exactly as you are NOW, it struck a chord. That episode has sparked more conversation, emails, and Instagram comments than any episode I’ve published so far, so let's talk about it in depth.
You can be broken, jacked up, down in the dumps… and still work on your dream. Yeah, you’re not going to look like other people doing it, but that’s OK. You don’t have to.
Today we'll talk about:
The Comparison Trap
How building your business your way is better for your mental health
Did you ever just *click* with another creative biz owner and want to collaborate?
In today's episode I'm talking to two people who clicked, came up with a crazy idea… and then followed through on it, in a big way. Anne Poldesak and Kathleen Dames, the editors of the new knitting magazine, Filament, join me to discuss:
How they found each other
Why a magazine?!
What tools they use to work together
Kathleen is a member of the Starship, which is now open! Get the details here. (It closes this Friday!)
Tomorrow I'm sharing what I've learned about working with other business owners, from collaboration to accountability partners to good friends, in a free webinar. To join us, sign up here.
Sometimes the right collaboration can make a BIG difference in your business. That's exactly what happened with Starship Captain Jill Maldonado (of Material Rebellion) and her friend, Linda Ruel Flynn (of Flora-Ly). They met almost by chance and have built their relationship into a partnership based on mutual respect and equal levels of enthusiasm. Read on to hear their story.
Tell me a bit about what each of you do:
Linda: I preserve flowers and create custom botanical collages that will forever connect you to a time, event, person or place that otherwise would feel lost in the past.
Jill: I design instruments of the imagination for creative kids using reclaimed textiles. (That means I make toys and accessories for children that encourage open ended play and I make them all from discarded jeans and t-shirts.)
How did you start working together?
We both belonged to an artisan group here in Western MASS and really connected at a holiday party over our frustration about feeling stuck in our businesses.
Jill: I felt like I’d been trying to have this conversation over and over again with every maker I met. When I talked with Linda, I finally felt like someone was speaking my language.
Linda: Connecting with Jill created a spark. She was the embodiment of what I felt I had been missing in my business, the kindred spirit who can have long, deep conversations over the minutia we all ponder. Aside from the fact that she is funny, bright and knowledgeable I had a deep appreciation for her work and level of craftsmanship. We had a great conversation at the party, emails went back and forth and I made the leap to send an email that said, ‘what if we work together for each other’s businesses? here’s what I am thinking…what do you think about that?’
Jill: Even though I didn’t know Linda well, personally, I knew that I respected her work and I felt like we had similar goals for our businesses. I was thrilled at the idea of meeting and talking with her more about what we were each trying to do.
HOW do you work together? Where do you meet? What do you discuss?
Jill: Because we didn’t know each other well at the time, we started with a fairly formal structure. We met once a month in a café that was a midpoint between our homes. (We actually live two hours away from each other!) We’d be very careful to dedicate an equal amount of time to each other’s business. We discuss anything and everything! Sometimes we’re looking at broad strategies- branding, targeted customers, what space we occupy in the market. Sometimes we’re super-focused on tactics – this photo, that font, this copy, those print materials. It’s very flexible and bends to each of our needs in the moment.
Linda: We joke that the barista our third partner in business! We start with breakfast and end with lunch. We found the perfect cafe where they don’t give the evil eye for sitting for up to 4 hours at at time. I really appreciate our HOW. We have come to a very fluid place of give and take. Not only the day of discussions but the follow-up that happens. We don’t let topics drop just because we aren’t sitting across from each other.
Do you have a schedule or a plan ahead of time, like the specific questions I ask in the Starship weekly chat?
A few days before we’re going to meet, we’ll email each other with a general idea of what we each want to talk about, along with any pictures, links to articles, podcasts or videos that will help the other prepare for the discussion. By preparing ahead of time, it makes us better able to use our time together effectively. We also give ourselves as much time as possible for our meetings. By setting aside several hours, we’re able to dive very deeply into each other’s work. This means, if one of us is struggling with writing website copy or forging a new brand identity, we can do actual work together with long silences while we both focus on the problem. Or, we can go through several iterations of an idea in one sitting, getting up to stretch or (of course) get more coffee.
Now, nearly two years later, our working relationship has become more intuitive and less formal. We reach out to each other a lot through text, email and phone with little questions or worries that we’re looking for support on. We get together at LEAST once a month, sometimes more. Sometimes these are long, working meetings and sometimes they’re just quick catch ups. We’ve added a new element of putting our strengths and skills to work for each other on bigger projects.
Jill: For instance, when I wanted to take my website to the next level and Linda decided I needed photos of kids using my products, she not only found me a model, but she created beautiful black and white paintings to use as set pieces. We worked out the concept together, but she was able to execute it in a way I never could have. (You can see the paintings from the shoot here.) Now, as I’m designing and building my first trade show booth, Linda is again right there with me as we work out the concept and she creates her amazing paintings. They’ve become a big part of my brand identity.
Linda: In tandem with that I am laying the groundwork to push my work out on a broader geographic area. I knew that would involve customers having to ship their wedding flowers to me. I needed a How To Pack Your Flowers video. Jill, with an enthusiastic Yes! and her trusty BFA from NYU film school, came to my studio for a day to shoot video. Not only that, she is editing and will hand me a finished product for my website. This is a huge step for my business that would have happened much further down the road if it had not been for Jill.
Another exciting thing we’ve started doing is a quarterly retreat. We’ll get an inexpensive AirBnB in a central location and take 2-3 days away from family and the daily grind of our businesses to power through some big stuff. With that much time, we can work side by side on our own thing and stop to get opinions, work out issues, work on each other’s things. It’s pretty amazing.
Linda: At about 10pm on our first night away Jill looked over and said, ‘Can I have at your website?’ Absolutely! By 2 am she had cleaned up, re-written some copy, created Book Now buttons and all around made it the lovely website it is today. I appreciate the level of trust we have created.
What lessons have you learned from working together?
Jill: I’ve learned the power of letting someone else help. It can still be hard to ask for help because I feel like I’m taking up Linda’s time or taxing her talents for my own benefit, but I’ve realized that I have a lot to give too. Sometimes we take our own gifts for granted because they’re the things that come easily to us. By working with Linda, I’ve come to a better understanding of what my own strengths are. For absolute sure, by working together we have both moved our businesses further, faster and better than either of us ever could have done alone. We like to say that we move mountains together. I love that idea. Although, I tease Linda that now, through the work we’ve done together, I feel that we don’t need to push against those mountains anymore, but we’re soaring over them instead.
Linda: I have learned I am not an island. As a person without siblings, alone has always come easily to me. I don’t seek the company of others for the heck of it. But working with and becoming friends with Jill has really brought home the power of complimenting resources. We are much stronger together than apart.
What are you most enthusiastic about right now?
Linda: I’m excited for Jill’s trade show!!! She has approached this with such depth that I just can’t wait to see what happens. Her message and commitment to her vision and product inspire me. I’m also excited for the upcoming changes in my business. Casting a wider net has me thinking more about my website, my product offerings and my message. Taking my business to a demographic that is new to me is terrifying but so necessary.
Jill: I’m enthusiastic about watching Linda take a local, 2nd generation business, pivot it to make it undeniably hers and reach out to a national market. I’m enthusiastic about my first trade show too! Actually, it’s the thing I’m most terrified about at the moment! I’m excited to strike out into the wholesale market with a strong brand, a cohesive product line and a beautiful booth that embodies everything I’ve been able to achieve through this co-working, synergistic, accountability partnership. Thanks, Linda!
What should other business owners look for in a potential accountability partner?
Don’t worry about working whether or not your potential partner works in a similar industry or has a similar business. It’s almost better to work with someone in a totally different area. That way there’s absolutely no competition and you each bring a fresh set of eyes that might more easily spot faulty assumptions you’ve been making about how or why you do things in your business. The most important thing is that you both have a similar vision for where you want to take your businesses. For instance, if you want to build a global brand and someone else wants to build a business doing retail craft shows that brings in extra money for groceries, those are both great, legitimate businesses to build, but you might be better able to help each other if you have your eyes on the same horizon. To go back to the analogy we use about moving mountains, it helps if you and your potential partner both want to move the SAME mountain. You also want someone who approaches the relationship with a generosity of spirit that matches yours. You will both benefit from the help you give each other.
Linda: I can’t say enough about the generosity of spirit. There is no score keeping! When two people bring open hearts, skill sets and the sense that WHATEVER is talked about and worked on will benefit you both, you can’t go wrong.
Jill and Linda met outside the Starship, but we've also got an Accountability Partner program on the inside, as well as the option to connect + collaborate with other business owners through the forums, weekly chats, and more. If you think this type of partnership and accountability could benefit YOUR business, you're in luck! The Starship is now open – click here to learn more.
Want to learn more about how you can find and use collaborations and business friends? Join us for the free workshop this week!