Weekly-ish notes on navigating big change

The truth about depression and anxiety

Today we’re going to get into some heavy stuff that a LOT of you have talked to me about privately. Over the last 6 months or so, I have been amazed at how many people have come up and talked to me about their mental health or that of a family member - anxiety, depression, and Alzheimers. Stories of their abuse, miscarriage, stillbirths, of their children with Autism and learning disabilities and physical disabilities. And this makes sense statistically, as 1 in 5 adults deal with mental health issues at least once in their life. At every event at least 2 people (if not more) have shared their story with me. At CGOA in July I started to think: I know it's common among thriving business owners, but you - my dear friends - may not. You're not hearing these stories. And for good reason - it’s personal and these makers aren't called to share it all online. But I am. I'm here to help you know you're not alone in this. Whether it's feeling overwhelmed, being broke, or even having issues related to mental health, you are NOT alone in struggling with this. And as I share, I want you to remember - whatever you're struggling with, not only are you not alone, but you can also move forward WITH IT. Exactly as you are. People are doing it. You don't have to be different, better, or "more together" to make a business thrive. To listen in, visit TaraSwiger.com/podcast123/

Get more goodness and support the podcast: http://patreon.com/taraswiger

Today we’re going to get into some heavy stuff that a LOT of you have talked to me about privately: anxiety and depression.

Over the last 6 months or so, I have been amazed at how many people have come up and talked to me about their mental health or that of a family member – anxiety, depression, and Alzheimers. Stories of their abuse, miscarriage, stillbirths, of their children with Autism and learning disabilities and physical disabilities. And this makes sense statistically, as 1 in 5 adults deal with mental health issues at least once in their life.

At CGOA in July I started to think: I know it's common among thriving business owners, but you – my dear friends – may not. You're not hearing these stories. And for good reason – it’s personal and these makers aren't called to share it all online. But I am.

I'm here to help you know you're not alone in this.

You are NOT alone in struggling with this. And as I share, I want you to remember – whatever you're struggling with, not only are you not alone, but you can also move forward WITH IT. Exactly as you are. People are doing it. You don't have to be different, better, or “more together” to make a business thrive.

Now, before we go on, I wanna give you a warning – I’m going to talk about suicide, depression and anxiety. When I’ve been at my most anxious, reading about other people’s anxiety made my own symptoms worse, so please be kind to yourself.

If you’re feeling like you can’t listen to this, that’s OK! But please use this time to talk to someone – tell someone in your life, or talk to a professional. You can call a helpline with professionals of the National Institute of Mental Illness at 800-950-6264. To find affordable options for a mental health professional, visit NAMI.org. Don’t just read stuff on the internet, tell a human being. Feel free NOT to listen to this week's episode and get help if you are feeling panicked or depressed.

If you're still in, go ahead and click on the player above to listen to the episode or watch the video below.

I am happy to hear your own story (including what works for you!) and I'd love if you felt comfortable sharing it with the community. To share your storey,  call my inbox at (567) 393-8272 and leave a message telling me how you're working on your business with depression and anxiety – you can share your name or remain anonymous. If I have more than 3 calls, I'll put it together into a podcast episode as proof that it's not just me and you.

Or you can share any part of your own story on Instagram with the hashtag #exploreyourenthusiasm  

Resources + Links Mentioned

  • If you feel like you can’t handle your anxiety or you feel deeply uninterested in life for more than 2 weeks and you don’t think you have anyone in your life that will help you, call NAMI: 800-950-6264 or make a doctor’s appointment.
  • Wil Wheaton on ProjectURok
  • Kyla Roma's piece on her generalized anxiety disorder
  • This is the best explanation I found for how I feel. (The bit about scenario building and “intolerance of uncertainty” was eyeopening.)
  • If someone you love has committed (or attempted) suicide: Survivors of Loved Ones to Suicide
  • I posted about this in the Starship last week, before recording this podcast and the outpouring of support and “me toos” has given me the courage I need to share this with you. The Starship is full of people who are being brave and working on their business, despite anxiety, depression, and chronic disease. It opens tomorrow, so if you’d like to learn more, head to TaraSwiger.com/ starshipbiz
  • Talk about this with me, live, in tomorrow's free webinar. Details here. 

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

Let's talk about this more, together.

Tomorrow I'm continuing this conversation with a free webinar. In it, I'll share the specifics of how I kept my business going while taking time off, and examples from my students and friends. To join us, sign up here.

 

What I’m Reading: September 2016

follow my enthusiasm by reading…a lot. And once a month, I share (some of) the books I read last month and the books I intend to read this month. You can join the informal book club by sharing your own list with me on Facebook and find all the posts here.

 

A list of the books I read this month, with mini-reviews, and a preview of what I'm reading next. Join the informal book club & share your recommendations at https://taraswiger.com/im-reading-september-2016/

(The usual disclaimer applies.)

What I read

  • My Age of Anxiety, by Scott Strossel – This is an occasionally interesting history of Anxiety disorders and their treatment, told through the lens of the author's own life-long experience. Much of it was very interesting, but he left out solutions and history that he didn't personally experience and discussed some medications with mind-numbing biological detail.
  • Missing, Presumed, by Susie Steiner – I got this as part of my Book of the Month Club (which I SO recommend!) and I loved it. Creepy, without being graphically violent. I look forward to reading everything else by this author.
  • Switched On: A Memoir of Brain Change and Emotional Awakening, by John Elder Robinson. This is the tale of an autistic man who undergoes experimental treatment that dramatically alters the way he perceives his world. I heard about this treatment first on Invisibilia and then spotted this on the New Non-Fiction shelf at the library so I picked it up. A friend's son was recently diagnosed with Autism, so it's timely.
  • Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression, by Sally Brampton – This is the best memoir I've ever read about dodgy mental health, and one of my Top 5 memoirs, period. Right after finishing it, I dropped it in the tub… so now I own this library book and I'm secretly thrilled. If you worry you might be all alone in how you feel, read this.
  • The Girl on the Train, by Paul Hawkins –  Confession: I saw this book all over social media and so I picked it up when it appeared at my library. Another creepy sorta-thriller. If I didn't read so many great mysterious novels this month, this would have fared better.
  • Before I Go to Sleep, by S. J Watson –  Another mystery that sucked me in! The premise is the same as 50 First Dates (woman loses her memory every night), but without the romance and with a dash of spine chilling secrets.
  • Carry On, Warrior, by Glennon Doyle Melton – I don't know how I stumbled on Glennon's blog, but I got totally sucked in. I read tons of the archives and then requested this book from my library. If you like her blog, read the book.
  • Dark Matter, by Blake Crouch – This was one of the Book of The Month Club options that I didn't choose, but it looked good so I got it from my library. Um, yeah, I read it in one late night gulp. A barely-sci-fi thriller (ie, it's set in a world just like ours, but with one big scientific discovery). It's a novel I'd recommend to any of my friends (even the non-nerdy ones).

Special Mention: Harry Potter, books 1, 2, and 3.  Yeah, so. It's time to come clean: I've never read or watched any Harry Potter. I know, I know. I just wasn't the right age to read it when it came out (really busy reading tons of French literature, in French!) and I didn't get around to it. So I decided to fix that, and sped through the first three last month.
To be honest, and at the risk of losing all my readers, I gotta admit: I didn't get it. The first two books were just…okay. Not as gripping or fast moving or even as well-written (gasp!) as other YA I've read. (Hello, Lord of the Rings! Anne of Green Gables!)

However, by Book 3, I started to get it. I'm at least hooked enough to start in on Books 4 & 5 this month.

 

What I’m reading

I need some more recommendations! Tell me on Twitter or Facebook!

Yeah, so I read a LOT this month. I didn't even share them all here (I skipped the ones I didn't love, or wouldn't recommend.)  Here's to another great month of reading!

What I read last September.

And in September 2014.

What are you reading?

 

How YOU Get Stuff Done

How do you actually get done the things you need to do for your business? Are you more likely to do something if you "owe" it to someone else, or if it's something you personally want to do? Or, maybe, do you rebel against the idea of a To Do list altogether? Learn more about your own tendency and how you can use it to get more done - including a FREE resource guide! - at TaraSwiger.com/podcast122/

Get more goodness and support the podcast: http://patreon.com/taraswiger

How do you actually DO what you want to do in your business?

Do you need to understand WHY you're doing it?

Do you need to be held accountable?

Or do you rebel against anyone telling you to do anything (even when you really want to do it)?

This question fascinates me, because it's at the heart of why some people build their business quickly and others struggle along without ever taking much action. This has been such a popular topic that I thought we'd revisit it this week for the podcast. Make sure you read to the bottom in order to get your FREE guide to getting stuff done for Questioners, Obligers, & Rebels!

When I talk to makers and artists who are frustrated that their business hasn't grown, it's very rare that they have NO idea what they should do. Instead, it's that they aren't taking the actions they feel they need to take, they aren't doing what they want to do.

The best explanation I've ever found for WHY some people struggle to get stuff done, is in Gretchen Rubin's book Better Than Before (it's all about habit change, and working on your business really is about habits). She defines the Four Tendencies, as a reason for why some people get stuff done (or change their habits, or work on their biz) and others don't.

I've talked about this before on the podcast (listen in here), but this comes up so often, I wanted to revisit it.

According to Gretchen (and backed up by my own experience working with hundreds of makers and artists), we react to expectations (ie, people telling us to do something), in one of four ways. The way you react to expectations tends to be consistent across your life.

Upholders:

These people do everything that's expected of them, easily. They both meet external expectations (other people telling you what you should do) and internal expectations (things YOU want to do). I have met very few Upholders, and I think it's because they don't seek out biz support – once they know what to do, they just do it.

Questioners:

These people (uh, myself included) don't care to meet external expectations unless they understand WHY. But they have an easy time meeting internal expectations… if those expectations are built on understanding the rationale behind them. In other words, we questioners can do anything if we can turn it from external expectation (you telling me to do something) into an internal expectation (I understand why, and now WANT to do it, because it makes logical sense to me).
These people need to know WHY they are doing anything in their business (“because experts say so” isn't enough). Because I'm a Questioner, I create all of my classes and books for Questioners – I don't tell you what to do, I tell you why something will benefit your biz, then I give you a bunch of questions related to your business, so you can see how to do it in your OWN way. This is why I've built the Starship experience to start with you getting clear on your goals and your path – so that you decide what you want to learn and what you want to do next, and feel motivated to do the work because you can see how it fits into the bigger picture.(According my unscientific study, about 1/3 of the Starship members are Questioners)

Obligers:

These people (maybe you?) have a pretty easy time fulfilling external expectations (if someone asks you to do something, you will), but have a tough time fulfilling internal expectations (say, working on your business, just because you want to). In fact you may fill your days doing things others care about more. So you feel frustrated that you never seem to make the time to work on what matters to YOU. Ugh, this is frustrating.

The solution?
Get someone to ask you about what you really care about.
In other words, externalize those internal expectations.
You can do this with a group (like the Starship), where you tell us your goal and then check in as you work through it (this is why we have the weekly live check-in and forums) or with a single person (an accountability partner). After learning that about 2/3 of the Starship members were Obligers, I upped our accountability-providing, by creating the Accountability Partner Program – you just fill out a short form, and I match you with a partner. The two of you work together to decide when to check-in and then you simply tell the person: This is what I'm working on, I'm going to be done with it by X date. That, alone, can suddenly make you feel like you “owe” someone and so you work harder on your business!

Rebels:

These people tend to feel constrained by any kind of expectation. They tell me (we have a handful in the Starship) that “As soon as I write something down, like a goal or to do list, I suddenly do NOT want to do it.” In fact, creating a schedule or a must-do list is going to ensure that a Rebel never does anything.

The solution?
I'll be honest, I have been thinking about this for over a year and quizzing any rebels I meet. Gretchen doesn't offer any solution in her book, and I had a hard time coming up with one. Joeli is a self-described Rebel who has made MASSIVE momentum in the last year of her Starship membership (you can get her full story if you sign up here) and she says what works best is making a big list and then picking, each day, what feels fun (instead of telling yourself you HAVE to do something that day), and setting goals that are more about paying attention and learning, than about measuring. (For example, set a goal of “noticing what already works in my business.”) In other words, for Rebels, taking the pressure OFF is often a good motivator for working harder (but if you already feel bad about how little you get done, this might feel REALLY scary). This is why we focus, in the Starship, on finding what works for YOU and giving yourself permission to not do what other people tell you “have” to do.

So how do you get stuff done?

I hope you see that the answer lies not in forcing yourself to work in ONE way, but in finding what works best for you. No one of the above is better than the others (although I think we all secretly wish we could be Upholders!) – the key to productivity is acknowledging your tendency and then setting up your work day and expectations in a way that works for you.

If you think that more accountability, question-answering and a community of encouragers would help you in your business, check out the Starship – it's opening next week! 

Sign up below to get a FREE guide to go with this episode!

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

The Adventures – August 2016

Here's a round-up of what I saw, did, and read this month! Follow my Instagram Stories for in-the-moment photos + videos. You can find years of Adventures here.

The News:

  • If you're in the UK, check the only biz-focused workshops I'll be holding during my tour in November! Join before spots fill up!
  • I'm planning a new (free!) weekly webinar series for the next 2 months. If you want access, just be sure you're signed up.

The view

A photo posted by Tara Swiger (@taraswiger) on

A photo posted by Tara Swiger (@taraswiger) on

A photo posted by Tara Swiger (@taraswiger) on

A photo posted by Tara Swiger (@taraswiger) on

A photo posted by Tara Swiger (@taraswiger) on

I am so grateful for…

  • Support and encouragement of friends
  • New babies! 2 of my dearest friends had new babies in the last 6 weeks. Handknit tiny hats all around!
  • My morning window corner where I sip coffee, read, and journal

The Finds:

I’m reading:

 

 

How about you? What went well in your month?

How to Say NO to Anything

Tired of saying “yes” when you want to say no? We're replaying a popular episode from the past, because it's always a good reminder that you have permission to say no - to anything! In today’s episode you’ll learn: How to get comfortable saying no. 4 ways to say say no My exact scripts for getting more time, avoiding aggressive askers, and saying no. This is the second part of a three-part (free!) mini-class on Saying No (for fun + profit). Part 1 is here, Part 2 is today’s podcast, and Part 3 is a worksheet (to apply this to your own business), only available if you sign up at TaraSwiger.com/podcast121/

Get more goodness and support the podcast: http://patreon.com/taraswiger

Tired of saying “yes” when you want to say no?

We're replaying a popular episode from the past, because it's always a good reminder that you have permission to say no – to anything!

In today’s episode you’ll learn:

  • How to get comfortable saying no.
  • 4 ways to say no
  • My exact scripts for getting more time, avoiding aggressive askers, and saying no.

This is the second part of a three-part (free!) mini-class on Saying No (for fun + profit). Part 1 is here, Part 2 is today’s podcast, and Part 3 is a worksheet (to apply this to your own business), only available if you sign up below.

Links I mention:

      The FREE worksheet is available if you sign up below!

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

Feeling unmotivated? Here’s how to Get More Done

I hear from SO many people that they just don't feel motivated to work on their To Do list - from the daily small tasks to the bigger goal-oriented projects. That's why it's so important to have a system of identifying your goal, breaking it down, and checking off your To Dos. This week we're revisiting a popular podcast from the past, with an all-new transcript and a FREE guide to go with it! In this episode we’ll discuss The principles for Getting More Done How to stay motivated when you don't feel like working The process I use to make progress on my quarterly goals Want to get more done? Get my FREE distraction-free guide to getting more done.Grab it here: TaraSwiger.com/podcast119/

Get more goodness and support the podcast: http://patreon.com/taraswiger

I hear from SO many people that they just don't feel motivated to work on their To Do list – from the daily small tasks to the bigger goal-oriented projects.

That's why it's so important to have a system of identifying your goal, breaking it down, and checking off your To Dos. This week we're revisiting a popular podcast from the past, with an all-new transcript and a FREE guide to go with it!

In this episode we’ll discuss

  • The principles for Getting More Done
  • How to stay motivated when you don't feel like working
  • The process I use to make progress on my quarterly goals

 

Want to get more done? Get my FREE distraction-free guide to getting more done.Grab it here.

Check out the other posts + podcasts in this series:

Links Mentioned

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

How to be authentic (and not a hot mess)

How can you make your social media posts full of your own, authentic self - without sharing all the "hot mess" details of your life? We'll talk about that in this episode, and I'll give you a FREE worksheet to help you plan your posts! Get it at TaraSwiger.com/podcast120/

Get more goodness and support the podcast: http://patreon.com/taraswiger

How can you be a real person  and not be a hot mess, on social media?

In this episode, inspired by something Caitlin Bacher said at Schoolhouse Craft, I’m going to give you three questions to answer, so you can figure it out once and for all. These questions will help you develop your strategy and connect with your customers, without sounding like either a robot (boring!) or oversharing (ew!).

Want to be authentic online? This week we're revisiting a popular episode from the past and adding a bonus – get a FREE worksheet to help you work through the questions from this episode! Grab it here.

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

Collaboration + Promotion Partners, an interview with knitwear designer Lisa Barnes

Today we're talking about collaborating and finding promotion partners with knitwear designer Lisa Barnes. Lisa discusses how she found collaborator (and fellow Starship Captain!) Ann Tudor and how they created a new product together, and how she connected with yarn shops. Get the links & more at TaraSwiger.com/podcast118/

Today we're talking about collaborating and finding promotion partners with knitwear designer Lisa Barnes. Lisa discusses how she found collaborator (and fellow Starship Captain!) Ann Tudor and how they created a new product together, and how she connected with yarn shops.

Links mentioned:

To get your free yarn replacement guide, text “enthusiasm” to 44 222!

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

There's no transcript this week since this is an interview, but sign up below to get access to ALL past + future podcast transcripts!

What I’m Reading: August 2016

follow my enthusiasm by reading…a lot. And once a month, I share (some of) the books I read last month and the books I intend to read this month. You can join the informal book club by sharing your own list in the comments and find all the posts here.

 

The business books and novels I'm reading  in August 2016

Please note that I read 90% of books from my library, but I just got a new Kindle (this one) this month (after my old iPad finally died) and am reading more on it! The usual disclaimer applies.

What I read

  • Rising Strong, by Brene Brown – I've read every book by Brene Brown (a friend recommended her first book a couple years before everyone discovered her) and this is one of my favorites.
  • Full, by Kimber Simpson – A fascinating memoir of someone who struggled with (and found refuge from) disordered eating.
  • The Border of Paradise, by Esme Wang – A strange, beautiful novel that had me totally gripped for the last 1/4 of it.
  • 10% Happier, by Dan Harris – After hearing the author on several podcasts, I was curious about the book.

What I’m reading

I need some more recommendations! Tell me on Twitter or Facebook!

 

What I read last August.

And in August 2014

What are you reading?

 

The Adventures – July 2016

 

Here's a round-up of what I saw, did, and read this month! Follow me on SnapChat for in-the-moment photos + videos!

The News:

  • I'm teaching a full-day marketing workshop for yarn-y people, in collaboration with a yarn rep/store owner this month! Join us here.
  • If you're in the UK, check the only biz-focused workshops I'll be holding during my tour in November! Join before spots fill up! 

The view

IMG_0225 IMG_0212 IMG_0185 IMG_0170 IMG_0139 IMG_0102 IMG_0049

I am so grateful for…

  • Good books
  • An amazing team (thanks Jess + Jay!) that makes things happen even when I can't
  • A quick trip to the beach, before my teaching gig

The Finds:

I’m reading:

I’m eating:

  • Homemade corn dogs – so simple and cute! Take cornbread muffins + pop in a bit of (vegan) hot dog: homemade corn pups!
  • ALL of the basil pesto (I don't measure it anymore, but this is the basic idea)
  • Blueberry pancakes topped with blueberry syrup (just cook the blueberries on medium heat until they pop and get gooey)

 

How about you? What went well in your month?

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