Did you ever just *click* with another creative biz owner and want to collaborate?
In today's episode I'm talking to two people who clicked, came up with a crazy idea… and then followed through on it, in a big way. Anne Poldesak and Kathleen Dames, the editors of the new knitting magazine, Filament, join me to discuss:
How they found each other
Why a magazine?!
What tools they use to work together
Kathleen is a member of the Starship, which is now open! Get the details here. (It closes this Friday!)
Tomorrow I'm sharing what I've learned about working with other business owners, from collaboration to accountability partners to good friends, in a free webinar. To join us, sign up here.
Today we’re going to get into some heavy stuff that a LOT of you have talked to me about privately: anxiety and depression.
Over the last 6 months or so, I have been amazed at how many people have come up and talked to me about their mental health or that of a family member – anxiety, depression, and Alzheimers. Stories of their abuse, miscarriage, stillbirths, of their children with Autism and learning disabilities and physical disabilities. And this makes sense statistically, as 1 in 5 adults deal with mental health issues at least once in their life.
At CGOA in July I started to think: I know it's common among thriving business owners, but you – my dear friends – may not. You're not hearing these stories. And for good reason – it’s personal and these makers aren't called to share it all online. But I am.
I'm here to help you know you're not alone in this.
You are NOT alone in struggling with this. And as I share, I want you to remember – whatever you're struggling with, not only are you not alone, but you can also move forward WITH IT. Exactly as you are. People are doing it. You don't have to be different, better, or “more together” to make a business thrive.
Now, before we go on, I wanna give you a warning – I’m going to talk about suicide, depression and anxiety. When I’ve been at my most anxious, reading about other people’s anxiety made my own symptoms worse, so please be kind to yourself.
If you’re feeling like you can’t listen to this, that’s OK! But please use this time to talk to someone – tell someone in your life, or talk to a professional. You can call a helpline with professionals of the National Institute of Mental Illness at 800-950-6264. To find affordable options for a mental health professional, visit NAMI.org. Don’t just read stuff on the internet, tell a human being. Feel free NOT to listen to this week's episode and get help if you are feeling panicked or depressed.
If you're still in, go ahead and click on the player above to listen to the episode or watch the video below.
I am happy to hear your own story (including what works for you!) and I'd love if you felt comfortable sharing it with the community. To share your storey, call my inbox at (567) 393-8272 and leave a message telling me how you're working on your business with depression and anxiety – you can share your name or remain anonymous. If I have more than 3 calls, I'll put it together into a podcast episode as proof that it's not just me and you.
Or you can share any part of your own story on Instagram with the hashtag #exploreyourenthusiasm
Resources + Links Mentioned
If you feel like you can’t handle your anxiety or you feel deeply uninterested in life for more than 2 weeks and you don’t think you have anyone in your life that will help you, call NAMI: 800-950-6264 or make a doctor’s appointment.
I posted about this in the Starship last week, before recording this podcast and the outpouring of support and “me toos” has given me the courage I need to share this with you. The Starship is full of people who are being brave and working on their business, despite anxiety, depression, and chronic disease. It opens tomorrow, so if you’d like to learn more, head to TaraSwiger.com/ starshipbiz
Talk about this with me, live, in tomorrow's free webinar. Details here.
Tomorrow I'm continuing this conversation with a free webinar. In it, I'll share the specifics of how I kept my business going while taking time off, and examples from my students and friends. To join us, sign up here.
How do you actually DO what you want to do in your business?
Do you need to understand WHY you're doing it?
Do you need to be held accountable?
Or do you rebel against anyone telling you to do anything (even when you really want to do it)?
This question fascinates me, because it's at the heart of why some people build their business quickly and others struggle along without ever taking much action. This has been such a popular topic that I thought we'd revisit it this week for the podcast. Make sure you read to the bottom in order to get your FREE guide to getting stuff done for Questioners, Obligers, & Rebels!
When I talk to makers and artists who are frustrated that their business hasn't grown, it's very rare that they have NO idea what they should do. Instead, it's that they aren't taking the actions they feel they need to take, they aren't doing what they want to do.
The best explanation I've ever found for WHY some people struggle to get stuff done, is in Gretchen Rubin's book Better Than Before(it's all about habit change, and working on your business really is about habits). She defines the Four Tendencies, as a reason for why some people get stuff done (or change their habits, or work on their biz) and others don't.
I've talked about this before on the podcast (listen in here), but this comes up so often, I wanted to revisit it.
According to Gretchen (and backed up by my own experience working with hundreds of makers and artists), we react to expectations (ie, people telling us to do something), in one of four ways. The way you react to expectations tends to be consistent across your life.
Upholders:
These people do everything that's expected of them, easily. They both meet external expectations (other people telling you what you should do) and internal expectations (things YOU want to do). I have met very few Upholders, and I think it's because they don't seek out biz support – once they know what to do, they just do it.
Questioners:
These people (uh, myself included) don't care to meet external expectations unless they understand WHY. But they have an easy time meeting internal expectations… if those expectations are built on understanding the rationale behind them. In other words, we questioners can do anything if we can turn it from external expectation (you telling me to do something) into an internal expectation (I understand why, and now WANT to do it, because it makes logical sense to me).
These people need to know WHY they are doing anything in their business (“because experts say so” isn't enough). Because I'm a Questioner, I create all of my classes and books for Questioners – I don't tell you what to do, I tell you why something will benefit your biz, then I give you a bunch of questions related to your business, so you can see how to do it in your OWN way. This is why I've built the Starship experience to start with you getting clear on your goals and your path – so that you decide what you want to learn and what you want to do next, and feel motivated to do the work because you can see how it fits into the bigger picture.(According my unscientific study, about 1/3 of the Starship members are Questioners)
Obligers:
These people (maybe you?) have a pretty easy time fulfilling external expectations (if someone asks you to do something, you will), but have a tough time fulfilling internal expectations (say, working on your business, just because you want to). In fact you may fill your days doing things others care about more. So you feel frustrated that you never seem to make the time to work on what matters to YOU. Ugh, this is frustrating.
The solution? Get someone to ask you about what you really care about.
In other words, externalize those internal expectations.
You can do this with a group (like the Starship), where you tell us your goal and then check in as you work through it (this is why we have the weekly live check-in and forums) or with a single person (an accountability partner). After learning that about 2/3 of the Starship members were Obligers, I upped our accountability-providing, by creating the Accountability Partner Program – you just fill out a short form, and I match you with a partner. The two of you work together to decide when to check-in and then you simply tell the person: This is what I'm working on, I'm going to be done with it by X date. That, alone, can suddenly make you feel like you “owe” someone and so you work harder on your business!
Rebels:
These people tend to feel constrained by any kind of expectation. They tell me (we have a handful in the Starship) that “As soon as I write something down, like a goal or to do list, I suddenly do NOT want to do it.” In fact, creating a schedule or a must-do list is going to ensure that a Rebel never does anything.
The solution? I'll be honest, I have been thinking about this for over a year and quizzing any rebels I meet. Gretchen doesn't offer any solution in her book, and I had a hard time coming up with one. Joeli is a self-described Rebel who has made MASSIVE momentum in the last year of her Starship membership (you can get her full story if you sign up here) and she says what works best is making a big list and then picking, each day, what feels fun (instead of telling yourself you HAVE to do something that day), and setting goals that are more about paying attention and learning, than about measuring. (For example, set a goal of “noticing what already works in my business.”) In other words, for Rebels, taking the pressure OFF is often a good motivator for working harder (but if you already feel bad about how little you get done, this might feel REALLY scary). This is why we focus, in the Starship, on finding what works for YOU and giving yourself permission to not do what other people tell you “have” to do.
I hope you see that the answer lies not in forcing yourself to work in ONE way, but in finding what works best for you. No one of the above is better than the others (although I think we all secretly wish we could be Upholders!) – the key to productivity is acknowledging your tendency and then setting up your work day and expectations in a way that works for you.
If you think that more accountability, question-answering and a community of encouragers would help you in your business, check out the Starship – it's opening next week!
Sign up below to get a FREE guide to go with this episode!
We're replaying a popular episode from the past, because it's always a good reminder that you have permission to say no – to anything!
In today’s episode you’ll learn:
How to get comfortable saying no.
4 ways to say no
My exact scripts for getting more time, avoiding aggressive askers, and saying no.
This is the second part of a three-part (free!) mini-class on Saying No (for fun + profit). Part 1 is here, Part 2 is today’s podcast, and Part 3 is a worksheet (to apply this to your own business), only available if you sign up below.
Links I mention:
The FREE worksheet is available if you sign up below!
I hear from SO many people that they just don't feel motivated to work on their To Do list – from the daily small tasks to the bigger goal-oriented projects.
That's why it's so important to have a system of identifying your goal, breaking it down, and checking off your To Dos. This week we're revisiting a popular podcast from the past, with an all-new transcript and a FREE guide to go with it!
In this episode we’ll discuss
The principles for Getting More Done
How to stay motivated when you don't feel like working
The process I use to make progress on my quarterly goals
Want to get more done? Get my FREE distraction-free guide to getting more done.Grab it here.
Check out the other posts + podcasts in this series:
How can you be a real person and not be a hot mess, on social media?
In this episode, inspired by something Caitlin Bacher said at Schoolhouse Craft, I’m going to give you three questions to answer, so you can figure it out once and for all. These questions will help you develop your strategy and connect with your customers, without sounding like either a robot (boring!) or oversharing (ew!).
Want to be authentic online? This week we're revisiting a popular episode from the past and adding a bonus – get a FREE worksheet to help you work through the questions from this episode! Grab it here.
Today we're talking about collaborating and finding promotion partners with knitwear designer Lisa Barnes. Lisa discusses how she found collaborator (and fellow Starship Captain!) Ann Tudor and how they created a new product together, and how she connected with yarn shops.
This is the heart of effective marketing – speak directly to the person who is going to love (and want) what you sell. Remember, you’re not trying to convince anyone, you’re giving (compelling!) info to interested people.
But how do you figure out who that person is? Are you limiting yourself by just focusing in on one set of Right People? And how do you find out where they are?
In this episode we’ll discuss
Why focusing on your Right People IS scary (and why you need to do it anyway)
How to find the people + be where they are.
5 questions to get closer to your people
Want to focus on YOUR Right People? Apply what you learned in today’s episode with a free worksheet (and today's transcript!).Grab it here.
Should you focus only on the people who love your work, and dismiss everyone else as “not your right people”? Or should you take criticism so you can improve and grow and serve your people better?
The answer is: It depends.
No, you shouldn't listen to ALL criticism. No, you shouldn't ignore ALL criticism.
Instead, you should pay attention to what's useful and ignore what's not.
How do you know which is which?
In this episode we discuss the difference between focusing on your Right People and ignoring criticism. You'll also learn how to figure out what you should pay attention to, and what to DO with the criticism you get. Get the free worksheet to apply this to the next bit of criticism you get!
Last week we talked about the difference between a Threat vs a Challenge. At the very end of the podcast I gave you a way to turn a threat into a Challenge. This is an example of reframing, or changing the way you think about a problem, in order to see more possible solutions. If you're an email subscriber, you got an email that walked you through the reframing of my own recent obstacle (Didn't get it? Subscribe here!)
I recorded a podcast about this 2 years ago, episode 3, but Starship Captains asked me to dive into it deeper this week. We'll discuss what reframing is, how to do it, and how to turn it into a habit.
