Weekly-ish notes on navigating big change

What you can learn from jealousy

Learnfromjealousy

 

I work with artists (artist = anyone making their work – writers, painters, makers, coders) who are amazing when it comes to following their own path with their art. They're not worried about fitting in or being weird. They do their own thing, wear what they want, and infuse their entire life with their personality.

And yet…
They don't think their go your own way mentality applies to their business. Or, they don't realize that they're comparing their business model, offerings, and success to someone else's. They try to fit themselves into a model that worked for another artist. They see a tool working for someone else and when they apply it to their own and hate it, they think something is wrong with them.  Although they would never, never tell themselves they have to have a  9-5 or wear a suit to be a real adult, they regularly tell themselves they have to be on Twitter, or blog, or {fill in the blank} in order to have a real business. 

I do this too! I see someone using a tool to connect with a rapt audience, and I think: Oh no! I'm doing it wrong! …and I feel bad about that.

But darlings, we have to remember: There is no One Way to have a business.

There are a zillion ways to build a business. There are a trillion tools, a million ideas, a hobjillion paths. Your job is the find what works for you. Because when you force yourself into something that isn't you, your business becomes awkward and clunky.  You'll feel guilty, exhausted and icky and your work will suffer.

And yet, just knowing this, doesn't seem to get those other people out of our heads. It doesn't stop us from looking at what other people are doing and thinking, I should totally be doing that. 

So let's shake up these assumptions, eh? Let's break the hold they have over us and bring them into the sunlight.

What are you judging yourself for not doing? 

List all the things you see other people doing (well) that you wish you were doing. 

(Really! Take out your notebook and make a list!)

Now let's learn from this + stop flogging ourselves!

This list is a reflection of  your perception of what a successful business does. It's not reality. Yes, the things on your list worked for someone, but not for everyone. 

But this list is also a great learning tool. Every thing that you think you should be doing is a clue into what you desire. Instead of focusing on what you're not doing, let's use it to learn more about you, how you work, and what you value.

Do you see any similarities between things on the list?
Perhaps you've listed a bunch of social media tools, or a bunch of in-person events.

What do you think these things would bring into your life or business? 
Make a list of the qualities or experiences you think you'd have more of…connection? confidence? encouragement?

Now, look at this second list – is your business lacking those qualities? What do you want more of? 

This is your new to-do list!

Instead of focusing on the specific tools and models, focus on these qualities. Find a new way to bring it into your work. 

 

Need help? Leave a comment and I'll help you brainstorm some other ways to bring your list into your business!

 

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Want more you  in your business?

These questions are the kind of exercises you'll find inside the Starship! Beam up here to get more! 

 

 

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What we do well

whatwedowell
Put on your party hat and press play on the playlist – The Starship is now boarding new captains!

This happens just four times a year, and only lasts about a week (we're already half full, so I'll close the transporter after another 5 cadets). If you've been hanging around here for a while and would like to see what it's all about, go here.
(If you'd like to be reminded before it closes, you can sign up here.)

Today I want to celebrate the Boarding Party by sharing what The Starship is really great at. You see, The Starship is not just me.  It's a whole community of clever, hilarious business explorers who show up for you – they answer your questions, cheer you on, and celebrate (and tweet) your newest products. I am quite surprised by what The Starship has become in it's 2+ years, it's entirely different than what I expected.

Honestly, The Starship can be hard to talk about. For starters, it's not what I expected. It's more communal and far more encouraging than I could have planned. But it's also that, just like you, talking about how amazing my thing is feels weird. I'd rather you just experience it and then tell me how much you love it. I'd rather not have the spotlight on me, I'd rather highlight what you are doing . And the last reason that it's hard to talk about is that the success of the Captains is entirely their own. Yes, The Starship helps you get where you want to go…but you have to do the work. You have to implement (and reiterate). So I never want to claim the successes without first celebrating the person who did all the work!

But! Every week I challenge the Starship Captains to get really clear about what makes their thing special, and then share it with the people who will love it. I'm finally taking my own challenge and experimenting with being really bold in declaring: This is what we do well (and this why you'll love it).

 

The Starship…

reminds you of your successes. I think of The Starship (and my role in it) as a vessel of celebration (pun intended!). It holds our joys and our challenges and, when we need it most it, The Starship reminds us of what we're capable of.

shares expertise. Whether you're writing a press release or looking for the right platform for your next product, we've got members that have done everything from knitwear design to Public Relations, from self-publishing to traditional publishing. If you've got a question, we've either got the answer, or can find a resource that does.

equips you to reach your goals. Whether your goal is about your income, your direction, or the way you work – we have a library full of tools to help you first get clear on your goal, and then work towards it. The most important thing is that you're going where you want to go, not just where you think you should go.

holds you gently accountable. Once you've got your destination, we check in regularly to make sure you're moving towards it. But this isn't imposing or judging – you let us know what you want to accomplish in the next week, and then you show up to let us know if you did it or not. If you've met or exceeded your plan, we throw confetti and celebrate. If you've fallen short and are feeling bad, we encourage you. We remind you of your past successes.

 

If this sounds wonderfully appealing, you can read more about The Starship (and join!) here.

 

Your turn!

Make a list for your own product or service. What does it really do for the buyer? And then share it with the people who will love it!

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Are you near Boston?

Enjoying very old buildings...

 

If so, I wanna meet you!

Boston is one of my favorite cities to visit (did you know my book launch party was in Boston?) and I'm so delighted to be returning. While I'm there, I plan to eat at Veggie Galaxy, drink lots of coffee, and meet some of the most creative creative businesses around!

I'll be in Boston from October 1-4 and I've got a handful of ways we could hang out:

  • Take a my class at Cabot Street Studio
  • Attend a my workshop at Gather Here
  • Have a cup of coffee with me

You can RSVP to any (or all of these) here. And if you've got a friend in the area, I'd love it if you shared it with them. Just send 'em here.

Are you near Boston? Think you can make it?

Leave a comment and let me know!

 

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A declaration of freedom

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This morning I was delighted to open my email and read the following declaration from new Starship Cadet, D. Frost. With her permission, I share it here, in hopes that it inspires you to declare what you really want, in your business and life:

 

I declare my independence from the thoughts that weigh me down.

From the doubts, limitations, & labels I put upon myself.

From the opinions & expectations of others.

The ideas I have that hold me back are not who I am, not part of what makes me ME.

They are just tourists I've allowed into my picture of the world, & they no longer serve me.

I am free from fear, from doubt, from desperation.

I am free to hear the call of my inner voice, free to walk the path that feels right to me.

I am free to laugh & wonder & admire & create.

I am free to love myself & honor what I feel is true & good.

I am free to appreciate all the wrinkles & folds of the universe, without resorting to old reactions to unexpected situations. Free to tread the fine line between creation & chaos. Free to tumble, to make mistakes, to absolve myself the not-so-unforgivable sins of temporary failures.

I am free to differentiate my self-worth from my financial worth, & my personal success from my monetary gain. I am free to hold myself apart from the convention, “The more you do, the more you're worth.” I am free to trust my heart, & free to reject any idea that conflicts with what I want for myself.

Above all, I am free to not know all the answers right away. I am free to linger in the void, where creation burgeons fresh each moment, & nothing is trite, prepackaged, or stale. I am free to submit to the unknown, to allow new ideas to flower, new answers to form, & new opportunities to emerge.

I am free to become whatever I want to be.

 

 

How to Stop Comparing Yourself

stopcomparingyourself

Today I'm sharing the secret to STOP comparing your business to other people's, over at Leonie's.

“Five years ago there were two businesses, led by golden-haired maidens – one a painter, one a yarn-maker and explorer. These two maidens met in an online businessy forum and got to know each other. Over time, their business flourished. They both found themselves helping other women build their own dreams + businesses.

Yep, I'm the yarn-maker and Leonie is the artist. Over the years as I've watched her business flourish and expand expand expand (as her family has!) I've been blessed to get some behind-the-scenes peeks into how she works and thinks. And through it all I have been overwhelmingly happy for her. Overwhelmingly joyful at every bit of good fortune that comes her way.

But here's the truth of the matter: I don't feel unfettered happiness for every business I see flourishing.”

 

Need more encouragement to stop comparing? Read this:

And don't forget to get the free mini-course on How to Be an Explorer of Your Biz
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The Adventures

Every day is an adventure. I share the view, the gratitude and the finds on Fridays, and you’re invited to join in.
You can find all my adventures here, or follow along via email here.

The View

Breakfast in bed with @spajonas's book. #perfectweekend
Cutting fabric for a new, secret-ish quilts.
Yay! My @alex_franzen print fits perfectly! #abovethecouch  (Frame still needed. Yes, I used washi tale to keep it up for now)
Charbroiled butternut + black bean rancheros. Yum. #whatveganseat #vegan

 

 

I am so grateful* for:

  • Butternut rancheros. Yum!
  • Random gchats with Ana.
  • Clarity around integrity (and the bravery to make changes).
  • The stories that current Starship Captains have sent  me! Inspiring and humbling, I'm so happy to be a part of their journey! (Stories are shared here.)
  • The editing power of Jess. She radically improved everything I sent this week!
  • Excellent questions from future Starship Captains. (You can find my answers here.) This is the most exciting time – when everyone's about to beam aboard!
  • My new star sweater.
  • That at home feeling.

 

 

The finds:

 

*My gratitude list is a new part of the Adventures. Join me in listing what you're grateful for!

6 reasons I love Quilting Happiness

I've “read” a lot of quilting books. Most provide beautiful inspiration, and that's really all I need out of them. I flip through, peruse the instructions, and enjoy the pictures.
Yay!! @craftypod's new book just arrived! I'm going to save it for an after-dinner treat :)

That's all I was looking for when I bought Quilting Happiness. (Honestly, I bought it because I like Diane so much!) But it completely surprised me with several things that I haven't found in any other books, that are perfect for a new (ish) quilter:

1. The patterns don't just tell you how much fabric you need, but also how to cut it. This is one of the things that slows me down more than anything, so I really appreciated it!

Love Quilting Happiness!

 

2. Squaring up your fabric instructions! I've never found theses instructions any where else, and they've already changed my quilting life. (I feel kind of dense that I didn't know this before.)

Love Quilting Happiness!

 

3. “Squaring the block” instructions! Ok, I knew to do this, but the book gives a much better way of doing this than I was. Love it!Love Quilting Happiness!

 

4. A clear explanation of sewing together curved pieces. I've been avoiding it for a long time because I couldn't wrap my head around it…but this book made it make sense!

Love Quilting Happiness!

5. Creativity exercises. Thanks to this book, I started a quilting journal, and now have a place to keep all my ideas and plans. I've already used it to buy fabric for my newest quilt!

6. A sense of humor!

Love Quilting Happiness!

(You just have to read any book that mentions hand quilting while watching Dr. Who – it's one of my favorite past times!)

What do you look for in a quilting book?

 

Not a quilter? For your dose of Diane-smartness, check out the workbook we co-created: Craft an Effective Blog (or get it free inside the Starship.)

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(I'm trying something new with this listy review. I've wanted to review more books, for a long time, but I get stuck in writing about what I like. So I'm experimenting with a format that's easy and straightforward. Like it? Wish I said more (or less?) Let me know!)
See the usual Disclaimer here! 

Adventures with Paul Jarvis, Live!

Today I interviewed Paul Jarvis about publishing (he's kickstarting his third self-published book), experimentation and the importance of creating your own ideal business.

(If you're reading via email or RSS, you probably need to click through to see the video)

 

Watching + Loving? 

Click here to tweet!

Support Paul's new book!

For more on why Paul's using Kickstarter, read this. 

For more about how to experiment, read this.

 

Got a question?
Ask it in the comments!

 

 

 

This is the first in a series of interviews about exploring publishing. Subscribe to be sure you don't miss a one!

 

Explorer Club of Book Lovers – September

follow my enthusiasm by reading…a lot. And once a month, I’ll share (some of) the books I read last month and the books I intend to read this month. You can share your list of books in the comments, or we can talk about any of the books that you want to read along with me.

Sharing my September reading list on the site today (link in profile)! What are you reading?

 

What I read in August

I was completely, unexpectedly delighted by Start. This book says all of the things that I tell people who want to craft their dream business: Just Start. Make a map. Experiment! If you're feeling stuck or just not sure what to do next in your business or dream, read this book

Another BIG winner this month was Diane’s Quilting Happiness. I'll have a full review later this week, but for now I'll just tell you – go buy this book! It's great!

Maya Angelou's Mom & Me & Mom was short and sweet and full of her inimitable prose. A lovely read.

I read Dad is Fat in a day. Hilarious (although I recognized quite a few of the “essays” from Gaffigan's stand-up routine…which I love.) If you don't know who this guy is, his two recent specials are on Netflix. (Jay thinks he must be a long-lost older brother. His sense of humor is just SO me…and we're both frighteningly pale.)

 

(And there were more, but not worth talking about. You can find all the books I read onGoodReads)

 

 

September's To Read List

 

  • The local book club picked Boy's Life. I have no idea if I'll like it, but I want to join the group, so I'm going to try it!
  • After watching (and loving) this video (and using it in Explore You), I've been meaning to read Shawn's book!
  • Heather wrote a book! With a knitter in it! (She shared it with the Starship, so I got an early copy.) You can pre-order yours here.

 

What are you reading this month?

What was your favorite book of August?

 


Disclaimer-y Disclaimer! I was given a free copy of Stephanie’s book. But I’m not in any way coerced into saying nice things. Or course I’m biased when my friends write a book, but I don’t mention things I don’t like.  (I bought Heather + Diane’s book.) Read the usual disclaimer here. 

 

 

 

 

The Adventures

Every day is an adventure. I share the view, the gratitude and the finds on Fridays, and you’re invited to join in.
You can find all my adventures here, or follow along via email here.

 

The view

Hiked 4 miles to swim at the falls (& then 4 miles back. Oof).
Stargazer block #1 for #dogoodstitches!
My cupcake pan is a workhorse. Today = zucchini/banana muffins. (Recipe by @isachandra)
Beau's face when he realizes I've eaten the last bite of peanut butter toast. (I wish you could hear the deeply disappointed (& judgmental) sigh that accompanied this face.)
Ran longer than usual, thanks to @galadarling & @skooloflife on #blogcastfm. #foundwhilerunning
Finalizing the materials for the last week of #exploreyou (I'm gonna miss it!)

I am so grateful for:

  • The results of Explore You – epiphanies, clarity, experiments. This class lived inside of me for over a year before I was able to create it, and so it's effectiveness in shifting the perspective of the explorers is breaking my heart with love and gratitude.
  • The moments where I found + reacted in love, instead of fear
  • The cooler weather! Running feels good again!
  • Starship reopening anticipation (and the excited emails I get from new Cadets!)
  • This banana/zuchinni bread recipe (muffins pictured above). Everyone (vegans and non-vegans alike!) loves it.
  • Pumpkin Spice Soy Lattes! (to make your own, check out my recipe here)
  • Amazing solo-sessions. This week I had triple my usual number of sessions. It was exhausting and exhilarating. I am so grateful to be a part of the opening and flourishing of amazing women (and their businesses).
  • Steph's great book. Can't put it down!
  • Time spent quilting.

 

The finds

  • I had a great time on Pace + Kyeli's podcast. You can listen in here, as we discuss a lot of non-business stuff about being who you truly are – with yourself, your family, and the wider world.
  • Speaking of podcasts, I've become completely addicted to Blogcast FM and am afraid my tweets are bordering on fangirl squees. The episodes are illuminating, interesting and best of, applicable to my business. (On top of that, I ran an extra mile today so that I could finish the interview with Gala.)
  • Also delighted that the Good Life Project is now available as a podcast. I rarely watch online videos, but have plenty of dish-washing, spinning and quilting time to listen to podcasts!
  • CraftLit podcaster and Starship Captain Heather wrote a book! The lead is a KNITTER! Can't wait to start reading it!
  • Kim's posts on Homeward Bound are wonderful + have sparked the kind of conversations I want to be having more of in my online life.
  • Gotta love The Franz. She's inspiring us all to share our gratitude with World Gratitude Day.

 

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