Weekly-ish notes on navigating big change

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Adventures in Fiction Writing with SJ Pajonas

sj pajonasI made the mistake of reading SJ Pajonas' new novel, Released, during my flight last Saturday. Sitting in between two strangers, 2 hours into a 4 hour flight, I started bawling my eyes out. And snuffling. And generally being the kind of person you avoid sitting next to. But despite the personal embarrassment (or perhaps because of it), I heartily recommend SJ's Nogiku series. It's funny, action-packed and so full of real dialogue that I cried on a crowded plane. So yeah, I LOVE it.

I'm delighted that SJ agreed to answer some of my questions about the writing + marketing of her novels.

People have this fantasy of what it’s like to be a novelist. But what’s a normal day for you really like?

I’m a stay-at-home mom, so typically, my day is: get up at 5am so I have 1.5 to 2 hours of time to write or get other writing-related work done before my kids get up, get kids to school, either run errands or write while they’re at school (they’re not at school all day yet), then the rest of my day is completely normal. I can sometimes get in a few hundred words here and there when they’re home but it’s difficult. When I need a long stretch of time for working, I save it for the weekend when my husband can cover for me.

I've found that getting things done (like writing so proficiently and getting it all published) is about having daily (or weekly) habits and practices to keep working on your project. So tell us about your writing rituals – what do you do to get in the flow for writing?

You know all that time in the previous question when I’m taking care of the kids and the house? I’m brainstorming that whole time. I brainstorm while loading and unloading the dishwasher, while I’m making dinner, while I’m sitting and waiting for school to be dismissed, etc. Because when I actually have the time to sit down and write, I want to get words on the page immediately. I honestly don’t have the time to stare at a blank page in front of me! I also do a lot of writing on my phone in Evernote. If I’m working in the kitchen and I have a great idea for some dialogue that I just know I’ll forget before I get up at 5am the next morning, I open Evernote and write it all down quickly. I have a folder for each book and I just keep adding notes when I have the chance. This way I always have material when I sit down to write.

What's your favorite apps or tools? What do you use to write, edit, etc?

My favorite app for writing is definitely Scrivener. It’s a $45 application from Literature & Latte and I would say the best money I’ve ever spent. You can use it to organize your work or novel like a file system, and it allows you to write in snippets and then move them around.* If you do this in Word, you have to highlight, copy, cut, and paste, and it’s annoyingly clunky. Once you’re done with a novel, you can export to a range of formats for ebooks. Since I self-publish, it’s all I use. Calibre is another piece of helpful software. Sometimes I export a book from Scrivener to HTML format, I tweak the HTML and then use Calibre to convert it to ebook formats. And Evernote is the other software I can’t live without. I can access it on all my devices so I keep a lot in it from notes about each book to information and links I gather on self-publishing to recipes for those dinners that fuel me!

*Tara's note: I agree! I used Scrivener to write my book!

As you've self-published books, I have loved watching your marketing unfold (which is so rare!). What is the most effective thing you've done to share the book with more people?

Thank you! There are several things I’ve done that I think work for books in general. I give away a lot of copies in the hopes that they garner reviews. I make a lot of multimedia items to promote the book like teaser images that I post on my blog, twitter, and Goodreads, and I had a book trailer made. I have a presence on most of the social media networks where I am, most importantly, MYSELF. I don’t try to project that I’m an expert in anything or give advice that I know nothing about. If you find me online, I’m usually talking about random things from my life or sharing tidbits of information that have been coming my way. I keep the ranting to a minimum and I usually reply if you want to chat. I do let people know when I’m excited about my work because I hope that, if you know me, you’ll be excited too.

released

 What's your most-favorite (enjoyable) thing you've done to share your work?

I really enjoy making the teaser images that I reveal in the weeks before a book is published. I love choosing an iconic image and pairing it with a quote from the books. I find them really exciting probably because I come from a film background. I love that pairing of images and words. It works for me everytime.

What resources did you find helpful in learning how to share your work?

I’ve been self-publishing for about six months now (from the time I decided to self-publish which was last June 2013) but I spent a few ramp-up months before my first book was published watching other authors publish as well. I’m the quiet scientist in the corner. I sit and observe what other people are doing first, determine what is or is not working for them, and then write it down for use later. To get started, I went to Hugh Howey’s blog and searched for “self-publishing” because I had read his books and knew he was a self-publishing advocate. I read all of his posts and they led me to the Kindle Boards and from there I just gathered information when I could. I haven’t read any books specifically on self-publishing though a lot of my author friends recommend Write, Publish, Repeat which was written by authors who also have a very helpful podcast. I plan on reading it soon as well to see if there’s anything I’m missing!

 What are you exploring now?

I’m trying my best right now to have a more balanced life. Sometimes marketing my books can take over my life! And really the best marketing for current books is to put more books on the shelves. Very few writers can make a career on just one book. So I’m working on a schedule to publish four books plus short stories over the next two years. It’s big for me, to plan so far ahead. I know that something can happen in the next week or month to send that schedule into a tailspin but I’m going to try it anyway. In writing, I’m exploring writing outside of my genre. I like writing science fiction and I’m going to continue writing in the Nogiku world that I’ve built and love, but I also want to write contemporary romance. I’ve been working on a book for a year that I’ll be publishing in the late Spring. It’s an adult contemporary romance called FACE TIME and it’s different from what I’ve already published. I want to continue writing ideas and taking risks with my work and exploring stories outside of my norm is how I’ll do that.

What’s your definition of success in your writing business?

Success has been hard for me to define! And it has changed over the course of the last six months. At first, my definition relied on sales. Was I selling books? How many? And how much money was I making to offset my initial costs? But sometime in the past month, my definition has changed and now my idea of success is just publishing more books. Each book I work on and move it towards publication is another success. The ultimate goal is to have a dedicated audience for my work and with each book published, I gain more readers. Success and its definition will probably change over time for me as new doors are opened and I’m able to do more with my work. For now, writing and gaining my audience is my primary goal.

What’s the next destination you’re working towards?

So I have this set of long-term goals for the next two years concerning what I’d like to publish but the next stop on the self-publishing road trip is to publish my contemporary romance, FACE TIME. There are several steps to get there including: a reveal of the cover online, teaser images, designing a paperback layout of the book, possibly make a book trailer, a companion website, and several other things. But I also have a writing journey that runs parallel to self-publishing, and after I’m done with revisions on FACE TIME, I will be starting revisions of the Nogiku Series Book 3. There’s lots to be done! And I’m looking forward to it all.

Thanks for having me, Tara!

Thanks for sharing so much! I've learned tons! 

Disclaimer-y Disclaimer: SJ is a Twitter friend and she sent me an advanced copy of both of her books, but PEOPLE, after reading the first one, I would have gladly paid for all subsequent books. Buy your copy of Released here. Now. For more from SJ, check her site here, her blog tour schedule here, and befriend her on Twitter!

 

 

 

 

The Adventures

Every day is an adventure. I share the view, the gratitude and the finds on Fridays – you’re invited to join in. You can find all my adventures here, or follow along via email here.

The News:

Today officially begins my holiday! You won't be hearing from me in your inbox or on the blog until next Friday. (The exception is the Early Boarding Party – they are getting the Lessons of 2013 e-course, for free.)
I'll answer all emails from customers + the Starship-curious and I'll be welcoming in new Captains within 24 hours. But all social media replies, chatty emails and the such will be on hold. (You can follow my holiday shenanigans on Instagram.)

Take this moment as a chance to set your own holiday boundaries. 

What do you want to do?
What do you not want to do?
How can you make it easier to maintain your boundaries?
(Hint: turn off all notifications, beeps, and pings. Check it when you want to.)

The View

The tree! I love it so much I can't stop staring at it!

2011's ornament. (I launched The Starship...which has slowly changed my life in a zillion wonderful ways.)
Found this note on top of my Christmas decoration box. Past Tara is the sweetest.Let's take a tour! This year's ornament. #tardis #doctorwho

I am so grateful for:

  • The joy a few strands of twinkle lights bring.
  • Enthusiasm. Following it.
  • Creating something new + wonderful + appreciated on a whim + a hunch.
  • The brave new Captains who beamed up this week.

 

A few of the recipes we made this week

And for family merriness (aka, vegan sweets for non-vegans. Even 14 year old boys approve!)

(Why yes, I will do anything Isa Chandra says! Feel free to send me her newest cookbook!)

 

The Reads: 

Need something to entertain you during the holiday quiet? 

 

Don't forget! The Starship + Solo Mission are both boarding now, and close soon!

 

Do you have a business? Or do you have a hobby?

Do you have a business, or do you have a hobby?

What does Bar Rescue have to do with your crafty business? 

Watch the below video to find out, along with the three things that distinguishes a creative hobby from a creative business.

Can't see the video? Click through to watch it.

 

Do you have a business or do you have a hobby?


The difference:

  • Do you have a bigger vision?
  • Are you eager and willing to do the work of a business?
  • Are you in it for the long haul?

 

If not, that's fine! Enjoy your hobby!

If you're not sure if you want a business, check out this post on Fresh Stitches: Do you really want a business? 

 

But most of the people who write me DO have businesses!
I bet you do, too. As Alex Franzen likes to say, you are not confused. You know what you want, you see your bigger vision.

So why do you doubt it? Why do you question? 

Is it that you need accountability to stick with the hard bits (and encouragement that you are not alone)? If so, check out the Starship.
Or is it that you need to make your plan more do-able and less vague?

Or maybe it's a question of confidence (hint: you don't have to wait) or believing it's possible (it is!) or knowing how to spread the word?

So how about you?

Do you have a business? Or do you have a hobby?

 

 

 

 

 

The Adventures

Every day is an adventure. I share the view, the gratitude and the finds on Fridays – you’re invited to join in. You can find all my adventures here, or follow along via email here.

The View

Office view.

I greet the day with a cat on my head. #catsofinstagram
Making chana. #yum #vegan #whatveganseat
Spent my afternoon note-taking & brainstorming improvements on next year's version of...everything (Starship, #mapmaking, Solo Missions). #loveagoodproject

As fun as travel is, there's nothing like making your own  food exactly as you like. Butternut pasta (recipe linked on the site) & roasted brussels.  #whatveganseat #vegan

 

I am so grateful for:

  • The deeply encouraging responses to my Big Lesson.
  • The editing powers of my Number One. (I really can't say this enough.)
  • Warm woollens in cold weather.
  • Coffee.
  • Puppy snuggles.
  • Spending all week planning, writing, and creating wonderfulness for Solo Mission pilots.

A few of the recipes we made this week

 

The News: 

This week I announced my newest offering, The Solo Mission, to the email explorers. Since I didn't really say much about it here, I wanted to share a bit about it with you:

Planning and thinking about the new year isn't enough. It's not enough to  plan the best year. You have to have know how to actually follow through. You have to have a system or habit of making your dreams do-able.

And when I talk to you – crafters, makers, writers – this is what you tell me you're missing. You struggle to take action, to know if it's the right action, and to keep your momentum.
It's not enough for you to know about marketing, communication and exploration – you can't do anything with that knowledge until you have a system for applying it on a regular basis.
But on the flip side, I'm surrounded by makers who DO reach their dreams. The Starship is full of artists who reach their income goals, yarn makers who quit their day jobs and designers who become published authors.
I want to help you become one of those dream-reachers this year. 
I've taken everything I've learned from explorers who DO reach their dreams, and I've created a plan for your Solo Mission.

Here's what we know works: 

  • Define what you really want (get crazy-clear).
  • Make a map of the steps in between you + your destination.
  • Work on doing the to-dos every day.
  • Regularly review what's going well (+ what's not) and adjust your map accordingly.

But it's hard for you to keep this up on your own. Life gets in the way – you get swamped with orders, your kid gets sick, you take some time away.
My job is to make your success unavoidable – no matter what life throws at you. Although I can't make you take action, I can provide support, encouragement and just-right questions to set you back on your path, again and again.

Introducing, the Solo Mission.

Find out more and join here: https://taraswiger.com/solo-mission/
(Since announcing it, at least 1/4 of the spots have been snapped up!)

 

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask in the comments or via email!

The Adventures

Every day is an adventure. I share the view, the gratitude and the finds on Fridays – you’re invited to join in. You can find all my adventures here, or follow along via email here.

The View

This ornament is almost vintage, made in high school I think. #tarastar
2 pies for 2 family gatherings. Wishing you sweetness & love today!
The view out front. #snow #yay
My great-grandma's fave grocery store, still awesome.
Spinning and knitting samples of mom's first roving.
Hideous dressing room, lovely bridesmaid dress.
My coworkers BOTH want to be in my lap. (That's @LindsayDrake's Sadie)

 

 

I am so grateful for:

  • Community + belonging + family
  • Decorating Mom's tree with “vintage” ornaments (the first picture is an ornament I made in Junior High)
  • The ability + resources to travel to spend time with loved ones (I'll never get tired of being grateful for this)
  • The editing + clarifying genius of my Number One. She has made this (brand-new, kinda secret) project  infinitely better!
  • Trying on a bridesmaid dress I liked. I really will wear it again!
  • Being recommended (by several sweethearts!) for an interview with a journalist! So flattering + appreciated, no matter what comes of it!

 

The Finds:

 

These are the recipes we made this week:

(With all this traveling, we ate out a lot. Or favorite: Tomato Head!)

 

Explorer Club of Book Lovers – December

follow my enthusiasm by reading…a lot. And once a month, I share (some of) the books I read last month and the books I intend to read this month. You can join the informal book club by sharing your own list in the comments!

It's book talk time! What are you reading? Find my list on the site!

 

What I read in November

 

What I'm reading in December

 

 

What are you reading this month?

What was your favorite book of November?

 

 

 


Disclaimer-y Disclaimer! I’m not in any way coerced into saying nice things about anyone's book. Or course I’m biased when my friends write a book, but I don’t mention things I don’t like. Read the usual disclaimer here. 

 

 

The Adventures

Every day is an adventure. I share the view, the gratitude and the finds on Fridays – you’re invited to join in. You can find all my adventures here, or follow along via email here.

The View
Last nights pumpkin pie brownies turned out beautifully. So beautiful Jay packed half the pie for "work friends."  #yeahright #breakfastofholidaychampions

Tonight is Test Thanksgiving. Pie crust, pot pie filling, folding it all into hand pies. And pumpkin pie brownies (pictured here). #piecrazy #holidaysanity
Beau thinks I use too many exclamation points. #dogblocked
Amazingly delicious pumpkin chocolate loaf. Because I'll make anything pumpkin, anything @isachandra says.  #whatveganseat
Oh dear. English Paper Piecing templates somehow came out of printer, onto my paper cutter and into my hand. After only 3 days of obsessively reading every blog post ever written about them. #followyourenthusiasm #epp @craftypod & @thezenofmaking are dang

 

I am so grateful for:

The Finds:

“Gratitude is giving up all hope for a better past.”

It got me thinking. What would happen if you gave up hope for a better past? I work with people with really awful pasts: abusive childhood, cancer diagnosis, chronic illness. (Yes, we work on businesses, but all this comes up and informs any new adventure.) So I bet you have a past that you spend some time wishing was better. What would happen if you gave that up? If you stopped going over and over the things that went wrong, the people that hurt you, all that you missed out on? How much simpler would your present be?

 

  • Craft Friday! A great idea from Beverly, let's make instead of buy on Black Friday! (I'll be snuggled up with family, so crafting is inevitable!

 

  • If you're dealing with your worst case scenario (cancer, divorce, parental illness), Vanessa will help you unlock your inner Sensei, figure out what help you want and need, and then get bold enough to ask for it. She just opened these sessions, and I made her promise to raise the prices SOON, so grab one while it's ridiculously affordable.

Since someone always asks, these are the recipes I've made this week:

You can find everything I plan to make and do this season here on Pinterest, and all of the vegan recipes I plan to or have made here

 

Need a better plan for your holiday cooking and making? Holiday Sanity can help! It closes in just one week! 

The Sick + Tired Holiday Survival Guide

Sick + Tired Holiday Survival

I'm dedicated to helping all makers have a happy and sane Holiday season…but I know it's extra-hard if you're sick, tired or sad. Not only do you struggle to have the energy to do all the things, you might also be feeling guilt or disappointment about not being able to do everything you want to.

Today I'm happy to  bring you the perspective of a Starship Captain who has been there, and helps others get through it. Vanessa Laven was diagnosed with cancer in September of 2010, and as she shares in our conversation below, she was going through the worst of the chemo during that holiday season.

(If you can't see the above video, click through.)

Watch our conversation to learn: 

  • The key to making the most of the season, no matter how you're feeling.
  • 3 things to help you enjoy the holidays
  • What to say to someone who is struggling/sick/sad during the holidays (How to avoid the sad head tilt.)

 

Stay sane during the holidays
The key to sanity is in getting it allll out of your head and into a plan. The Holiday Sanity Kit helps you do just that, along with a community of supportive Sanity Seekers, and a four week e-course to keep you on track. Find it all here. 

Want more survival tips? Check out the (free) Definitive Guide.

Sign up here to get more on surviving your business adventures, no matter the season.

How to deal with your family + maintain Holiday Sanity

holidaysanity2013

Do you dread those family dinners where everyone has an opinion about what you should be doing?

 

Last week a Holiday Sanity Seeker  asked:
How in the world do you deal with family members who keep making lame suggestions about my business? They're treating me like I'm not capable of doing this myself!
Ugh. I know, this is totally annoying and wish I had a magic wand that I could wave over all family members so they'd just be supportive of your venture!
However, the fact is, we can't do anything to change what someone else says. You can absolutely ask them to back off, but they're unlikely to be able to stop themselves.

You can't change your family, but you can change how you receive it.

In this week's video I share my favorite thing to do when someone gives unsolicited advice.


(If you can't see the video above, click here!)

 


Just remember one thing:

What a person says is about them, not about you.

Remembering that whatever someone says is about THEM and not YOU is not easy, but I hope it helps you navigate the holidays!
For more help with holding onto your sanity, check out Holiday Sanity.

What do you do with meddling advice? 

 

 

Want more survival tips? Check out the (free) Definitive Guide.

Sign up here to get more on surviving your business adventures, no matter the season.

 

6 thoughts on the New Domesticity

 

6 thoughts on the new domesticity

This weekend I read Homeward Bound: Why Women are Embracing the New Domesticity, and the short version is: I liked it! It knits together some threads of our current culture that I hadn't really put together – the rise of: “handmade”, lifestyle blogs, Etsy, foodie culture (organic, homemade, free range), and attachment parenting and contextualizes them in the economic reality my generation of college-educated, woefully underemployeed peers experience.
Here are some of my thoughts as I read:

1. This book is not about an individual lifestyle, but about a cultural phenomenon.  I had to remind myself of this a few times because it's odd to read the very first book about my generation and the movement I've been a part my entire adulthood. It's odd to find that it's not just my little underground society of makers – but it's a huge sociological shift. Not everyone interviewed is representative of myself or the makers I work with…but it's not about me. It's about the bigger picture, and the author really does a great job of painting the bigger picture, covering massively successful bloggers and I've-never-sold-a-thing Etsyians, homesteaders and attachment moms.

 

2. Lifestyle blogs featuring domestic pursuits + the success of some Etsyians set wildly unrealistic expectations. From the jewelry artist who lists a few things on Etsy and is disappointed when nothing sells, to the blogger who thinks she can run a profitable business while “staying home” with the kids, to all of us who look at the perfectly appointed (and clean!) homes and the massively prolific quilters, knitters and writers and think “I'm just not doing enough!” – the internet is warping idea of what real people DO and what we SHOULD be doing.

This bums me out because it takes something that some people are genuinely passionate about and turns it into a measuring stick for other women, who have no interest in it. I want to hug you all and encourage you to follow the thing the makes YOU happiest – if that's Thai takeout + marathon quilting sessions – go for it! If it's home-crafted meals (and no time to craft) – go for it! The bloggers you love, and small business you admire are NOT doing it all (trust me, I've seen their houses) – so you don't need to either.

(I've written more about this here and here.)

3. “The importance of financial independence often seems to get lost in our eagerness to ditch our boring jobs or pursue our passions.”

I was thinking this over and over as I read stories of women who left the workforce to pursue homesteading or housewifery (their word!), so I was delighted to read the author state it plainly in the last chapter. Being raised by a single mom and spending years as the unintentional “breadwinner” in the family (yes, even after quitting my boring job), I can not stress how important financial independence is for everyone (men and women!). Your spouse is an absolute gem, but what will happen if they (or you, if you're the bigger earner) get hit by a truck tomorrow? What if he gets downsized? Do you have the skills to care for yourself and your family for the next 4 decades?

I am deeply devoted to helping artists, makers and writers create financial independence for themselves. This is why I focus on defining success, creating plans, and building a sustainable business (one that you can keep doing for years). It's not enough for you to quit your day job or do what you love, you have to be able to keep doing it, no matter what life throws at you. (And having a traditional job is a fantastic way to keep that kind of security, while you build something else.)

4. “Opting out” of having a career is NOT the same as opting out of the traditional workplace. I was disappointed that the author seemed (especially in the blogging and Etsy chapters) to conflate the two. Just because you leave an office job doesn't mean you can't build a career for yourself. In fact, it's what I've spent the last four years doing – building a career as a teacher and a writer. This would be impossible in a traditional job given my French degree and the options available in my small Southern town.

5. Thus, being a “stay at home mom” is vastly different than being a “work at home mom.” Some mommy bloggers and certainly Etsy's messaging pretends that it's all the same thing, and that building a bill-paying blog or business can be done easily during nap times. This is another one of those unrealistic expectations. I'm not saying you can't build a business that allows you to spend more time with your kids, only that the two require prioritizing two different sets of tasks. And depending on the age + needs of your kids, the age + needs of your business, you'll choose one over the other at different times. (In other words, you may get childcare help, or choose to build your business slower).
You're not a failure for doing so. In fact, all of the successful bloggers and business you admire are doing the same thing. The book refers to Dooce as a “stay at home mom”, but she's quite clear that she works full-time, in an office in her own home. I love this post, from a mommy blogger who comes clean about the help she has in order to work full-time.

This issue comes up a lot when I lead Pay Yourself  – women take a good look at their profitability and their scale and then they spot what needs to change, or what they prefer to prioritize (sometimes it means they stop building their craft business, and they find something else that suits their family situation better).

6. The food you cook, the home you decorate, the way you parent, the job you do, the passion you follow – it is not a measure of your moral worth. {Click to tweet this!}

I want to tattoo that on your forehead. Don't let society, even a DIY-celebrating society, tell you have to do something to conform – whether it's shopping at Wal-Mart + eating meat or it's shopping at the farmer's market + being vegan. Choose your own definition for success for your family and focus on that. Let yourself obsess (in the fun way!) over what you care most about and give yourself a free pass on doing everything else.

 

In case you're curious, my own brand of New Domesticity looks something like the picture above: I knit + watch TV or read while my husband prepares massively fancy vegan dinners (check 'em out on Instagram)…on the weekends.  I quilt while he watches baseball. Jay does all the grocery shopping, and I do most of the dish-washing. We split all other domestic chores, usually on Friday nights (literally: I make a list of everything that has to be done and we each pick half of the things on the list). If it's not Friday, the house is as messy as it is. I bake when the urge strikes.

We both work full-time, Monday – Friday, 8:30-4:30. (I could work whenever, but this is when I work best and it gives us weekends and evenings together.) We eat a lot of weeknight dinners of bean dip or spaghetti (store-bought sauce + noodles, maybe with homemade vegan “meatballs”) or homemade veggie burgers.

If I were defining our Ideal Domestiticity it would value equality – in housework and in passion-following and in financial decision-making. We value small and local over big and corporate, but we get nearly all of our clothes from Target. We value homemade but we equally value rest and time to pursue hobbies…so if “homemade” means hours of unpleasant work, forget it. (This shifts on a daily basis. Sometimes homemade pie crust sounds like fun, and sometimes it sounds like torture.) And above all, we remind ourselves (ok, I ask Jay to remind me) that our choices in the domestic sphere do not indicate our worth as humans. 

 

 

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