Welcome to a new little weekly thing I'm starting, in an effort to bring more of my real self, my every day life to this space. Each Friday I'll share pictures (from Instagram), my favorite links (I usually tweet them), and whatever else I think you'll like. This is totally inspired by Colleen and Elise*.

The view

My fortune, an unexpected deer, onesies with lyrics from concerts the mom + I went to, a photo-book of things I love, just a bit of the fiber in my living room.

The words + places

• I'm talking about translating your awesomeness into something your people can understand (FAB!) on Rena Tom.
• That post reminded me that I wrote a slightly different take on FAB in this book review.
• I'm experimenting with momentum and enthusiasm instead of productivity.
• This week has been peppered with lovely emails from readers of Market Yourself. If you've read it, feel free to tell me about it! Better yet, leave a review on Amazon. Thanks!

The finds

• This article in Fast Co. about why Millennials don't buy stuff is very encouraging for making things with meaning.
• My favorite new music video (and I don't have cable, so I pretty much don't know anything about any other music videos)
• I just love this conversation between Sarah + Ronna about faith and how it fits into our online conversations
• A great video on framing embroidery, from Sublime Stitching. I plan on doing this, this weekend!

*Elise's blog is the first new one I've found (and become addicted to) in a long, long time. She's a fabulous example of a creative entrepreneur who share's her Elise-ness and thus, attracts her Right People.

That's it for me, but what about you?

What adventures have you had this week?

Donuts have nothing to do with anything

Do you ever end the day with frustration that you didn't get more done? Even if you marked stuff of your list, it just wasn't enough. You sat at the computer, or dye pots, or jewelry table for 8 hours and yet…you just didn't get everything done.

Yeah. I hate that feeling.

I mean, I really hate it. It ruins everything. It makes me grumpy in the evenings. It sucks momentum away from projects. It totally kills my enthusiasm.

To avoid it, I tried to do more. I tried to beat back that I-didn't-do-enough feeling with doing more. I played its game. I accepted that the feeling meant something, that it was objective, and that I wasn't doing enough.

I put more on my list, tried to figure out how to get more done in the time I spent.
But that didn't fix anything.

It was exhausting and not very much fun.
And it looks a lot like a day job, which I left, to work for myself.

Something has to change. And just as soon as I acknowledged that it wasn't me that needed to do more, it's that judgement, the “I didn't do enough” at the end of the day that had to change.
I don't need to get more done, I need to stop staring at the screen when I'm not getting anything done.
{Click to tweet this!}

This isn't about taking breaks so I'm more productive, it's about changing the standards.
I'm not seeking productivity, I'm seeking fun. I'm seeking fulfillment. I'm seeking that feeling where I'm satisfied with what I did, that I believe I'm enough, that I'm not holding myself to some ridiculous standard.

It's not about the productivity

Productivity is about getting more done. About making more products, more money, more connections, more traffic, more followers. And it's enticing, because you know you do need to grow those numbers, get stuff done, make connections. Getting stuff done become the highest priority. So you fill in your time with getting stuff done. It doesn't matter if it's the right stuff, or the effective stuff, you just try to get more and more done each day. But getting more done for more's sake won't get you anywhere. And it'll leave you tired, and bored, and unenthused.

Let's circle back to what started it: making products, connections, ideas, making. If I want more of that, the way there isn't through more productivity. The way to doing what I want to do is to follow what I want to do.

Let's take productivity off the list of things that are important and replace with other stuff. Stuff that really propels our business. Stuff that really fuels us.

It is about

Having fun
Having space and time for creativity
Writing
Watering my enthusiasm
Following the momentum

What does that look like?

For me, following momentum, enthusiasm, etc means that I walk away from the computer once I've reached that slow, can't-think-time of the day (around noon; I start at 8am). I go get lunch, or go to a yoga class. I put away the computer and read. Or write. What I do doesn't matter, what's important is that I'm allowed to, nay, expected to, because my goal isn't to get as much done as possible in one day, but to follow the momentum and water my enthusiasm.

And even writing that, I can feel all the worries rise up: Will I ever get anything done? Will I have a huge to-do list I just have to power through?

Those are smart concerns, and I've struggled with them since I first decided to do away with productivity a month ago. After rigorous scientific testing, I'm happy to report that nothing exploded. Everything got done. In fact, I added a big new pile of work by doing a read-along inside the Starship (2 extra emails/week, full of projects, links, resources, and brand new thoughts).

What is different is me. I've had better ideas. I've acted on inspiration. I've been smarter and quicker for my clients.
And I've got much more important stuff done (yeah, a lot of the unimportant stuff has fallen away).

But that's not the goal.
I have to remind myself of this everyday: It's not about productivity. It's not about getting more done. It's about being present with what I'm working on. Noticing when I'm done. It's about exploring the possibilities, the various ways my days (and thus, my life) can unfold.

If your days weren't about productivity, what would they be about?

The other day Kyeli asked “How in the world did you go from making yarn to talking about marketing?”

Even though I hear this all the time from my college friends (How did a French major end up writing a book about marketing a craft business?), for some reason Kyeli's question really grabbed me.

How did I end up here?

Since I first realized I was going to eventually grow up and move out (at about age 15), I've been unflinchingly focused on the near future. What do I want next year to be like? What can I do now to be ready for that? What classes can I take in high school to prepare me for college (heck, I started attending the community college while still in high school)? Where's this job going to lead? What's next?

With all this focus on the future, I don't spend much time thinking about the past. I'm not into nostalgia. I'd rather feel hope for the future, than nostalgia for the past.  I'd rather you tell me what you're going to do than what you have done.

But sometimes that means that I jump into the next thing, without explaining (or even thinking about) what led here. I focus on what I'm doing now, not all the stuff in my past that qualifies me to do what I do (I'm not a fan of qualifications – can you do it? Do it!).

But there are so many lessons I learned in my past jobs and experiences – lessons that I bring to the Starship + Explorations – that I don't want to forget.

My about page gives the short version of this path to full-time business-runnin + lovin, but the full story has many more twists in turn.

There's my first job, in my extended family's business (I stuffed envelopes from age 12, and made a $12/hour.)

Then the college job at the scrapbook store, where I grilled the owner for details on how she started her business.

My first post-college job, at a paint-your-own-pottery studio, where I became the manager in 3 months and ran the whole operation for more than 2 years.

Then the yarn store I first sold my yarn to (and began to help manage).

And finally, the total shock of moving away from both of those management jobs, to a small town in East Tennessee where I realized NO ONE would hire a French major with two years of small business managing to do anything interesting. I temped all around the local college campus: in a basement Accounts Payable office, a fancy (and so so strict) fundraising office, and finally landed as a Executive Aide, responsible for maintaining a department website and recording, editing, and introducing podcasts to the local medical education community.

All the while, of course, I was slaving away nights and weekends on my escape plan.

There were moments of deep depression, of unbelieving frustration (I graduated with honors! I paid for my entire education with scholarships! I hired and fired people!… And now I'm maintaining your CALENDAR?!) and the kind of I must work for myself resolve that comes from  realizing that relying on someone else for a paycheck will always, always leave you underpaid and underappreciated.

And of course, after working for myself, and answering other people's small biz questions, I gathered even more experiences, stories and lessons. As a First Officer, I've worked in creative businesses both large and small, as a community manager, a copywriter, an Idea Partner, a teacher, a mentor. I've crafted plans that have worked, and those that have sputtered. I've marketed products that have sold out in a day, and those that never hit it big.

It was all these experiences, these bosses, and this on-the-job learning that got me here. To the place where I'm about to publish my first book. To the moment that I'm about to turn 30 and am realizing I really love what I do.

Over the next few posts, I'm going to take a break from my future-staring and share what I learned from each of those jobs, the lessons I learned about running a small business, becoming clear about what you offer, and eventually marketing your work. I'll also be asking questions of you – what did you learn in past jobs?

How can you take your experience in an unrelated field and apply it to what you're doing today?

Quite by accident, I'm writing this exactly one year later.

Last year, I wrote that my theme, quite unwanted, was safety.
It wasn't what I wanted to focus on, but it's what I needed.

One year later,  what I realized (thanks entirely to Leonie's yearly planner) is the RESULT of all that safety.

Instead of putting up walls, instead of creating a hard shell, focusing on safety allowed me to open up, blossom, and risk things I never would have imagined.

Quite unexpectedly, 2011 was about saying YES, even when I wasn't sure I was enough.

I said YES to two big clients who sought me out, doing completely new-to-me kinds of work, things I never would have dreamed selling.

I said YES to a sudden goal to get a book deal before my 30th birthday (which is still 6 months away). Even stranger, I said YES to that book deal and to a writing schedule that might just result in having a finished book by my 30th birthday.

I said YES to the bizarre idea of the Starship. And then I said YES to putting in the daily work to build it, to lead it, and to support all of the captians aboard it.

I said YES to travel. I said YES to writing.

I said YES to the things I (secretly) wanted.
I said YES to things I thought I was afraid of.

And with every single one of those things, I had a clear, panicked moment “Me? Really? What? Can I even DO THIS?!?”
And then I did it.

Because I sought to cultivate safety and internal (and external) support, I had the confidence for YES.
Because I make sure I feel safe and cared for, before I say yes.
Because I (finally!) prioritized what I deeply need.

I still have so much to say about safety and where I found it and how it surprised me and what it taught me, but that will come later.
For now, I'd love to know:

What did you say YES to? What do you need before you can say YES?