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226: Why you self-sabotage

I did not want to talk about this. I have been avoiding this topic for years, even though it's something my listeners and clients ask all the time: WHY do I keep sabotaging myself? If you feel like you sabotage your own success learn more at TaraSwiger.com/podcast226

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I did not want to talk about this. I have been avoiding this topic for years, even though it's something my listeners and clients ask all the time: WHY do I keep sabotaging myself?

If you feel like you sabotage your own success, today’s episode is for you.

So last week I put up 5 different podcast ideas for the Starship to vote on what they most wanted me to talk about…and you know what got the most votes? Self Sabotage!

Even though I've been asked this a lot, I've avoided talking about it because…I think it's possible you are NOT sabotaging yourself. Sometimes the things that look like self-sabotage are actually just you taking care of yourself!

For example, if you wake up with a headache, like I did last Friday, and you decide NOT to work on your To Do list, even though it's very big and you have a deadline…is that self-sabotage? Or self-care?

Now, since we're talking about ME, I bet you'd say: Tara! You have a headache, take the day off, your business will be OK!

But if we are talking about YOU, you'd say: Oh, I really should have worked, I have things I know I am supposed to do! I totally sabotaged my list by not working!

And girl, that's just wrong.

So before we talk about REAL self-sabotage, we gotta get clear that every time you don't work, every time you take a break, every time you decide NOT to show up for something, it's not necessarily ruining everything – sometimes it is you taking care of yourself, or giving yourself what you need.

When I asked you (on instagram) for your examples of self-sabotage you told me:

  • When I get an opportunity, but believe I can’t do it, so I don’t follow through.
  • Setting a big goal and then getting sidetracked or not planning, and deciding: “well, all hope is lost!”
  • When I’m scared. I plan a big thing, and then don’t follow through (like a big launch, where then I only send a couple emails instead of doing everything I had planned).

Why you self-sabotage

  1. You are experiencing more success than your set point is comfortable with (Upper Limit Problem. This is the book about it.)
  2. You don't think you deserve it. (Imposter Syndrome)
  3. You actually don't want what you're working towards.

You'll notice that each of these reasons is actually…self-care! You're protecting yourself from what you think you can't handle or don't want.

What you can do about it:

1. Get really specific about what the self-sabotaging activity is and why you did it.

Ask yourself:
What am I trying to protect?
What am I afraid of?

This is important because a lot of women TELL me they are sabotaging themselves and when I ask for specifics, they hem and haw, “Well, all the time. I'm just never following through, I never do.”

Girl, that is a belief you have about yourself. It's a belief, not because it's true, but because you keep saying it to yourself. As long as you keep repeating this and believing it, you're never going to be able to move forward.

Until you can believe the opposite (“I show up for what matters. I can do what it takes”), replace it with the truth, “I'm not sure what's up, but I'm doing my best. I'm protecting myself.” Move towards trusting yourself to show up by getting clear on exactly what you do and when you do it. Get clear on why you're doing it (what you're protecting yourself from).

2. Let go of the fear.

The next step, after you know what you're afraid of, is to look at that fear head on. I like to do fear-setting (from Tim Ferris):

  • What's the worst that can happen?
  • Do you think you can handle that?
  • If not, how likely is that to happen? (Usually, not very likely, or at least not for very long.)
  • What is the much more likely (smaller) thing that may happen?
  • Can you handle THAT?

This is the time to use all the tools you have to release fears – therapy, journaling, essential oils, tapping – whatever works for you!

3. Notice all the ways you DO show up for yourself.

Do you buy groceries and cook meals?
Do you read sometimes?
Do you spend some time crafting?
Or doing anything you love?

THAT is showing up for yourself. YOU ARE DOING IT.
And it's transferrable! If you show up in this way you can show up in others.

4. Show up for yourself, even more. And make note of it when you do.

Self-sabotage isn’t something to beat yourself up about. It’s something to take care of yourself in the face of.

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

199: Interview with Tara

Building a successful creative business is not easy! In this interview, I talk about the mindset shifts I had to make to build my business, the lessons I'm learning and what I'm most enthusiastic about right now. Listen in at TaraSwiger.com/podcast199

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In celebration of my 200th episode, Joeli Kelly is interviewing me! We talk about the mindset shifts I had to make to build this business, the lessons I'm learning and what I'm most enthusiastic about right now.

Links I mentioned:

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

197: Pressure to be perfect

Do you ever feel the pressure to be “perfect” on social media? Learn what to do when that happens, so you can continue building a creative biz that you love at TaraSwiger.com/podcast197

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There is no pressure to be perfect.

Because of Instagram and Pinterest, I feel like I have to have it all together – I need to take prettier pictures, I need to have the perfect house, I need to only be eating organic greens and homemade cupcakes with handmade banners on them!

Do you know that feeling? Are you feeling pressured by Instagram to pretend like your life is perfect? Let’s talk about your own role in this pressure.

Links I mentioned:

If you're in/around… Arlington, Bremerton, or Seattle, WA

I'm going to be with you this weekend! I would love to see you!

Natural Solutions for knitters (and all crafters!)
March 8
Perfectly Knotty, Arlington, WA
RSVP here: https://www.facebook.com/events/144490012913953/

Rest + Roll: an essential oil Make + Take for moms
March 9th
Bremerton, WA
Details and RSVP: https://www.facebook.com/events/577730082584678/

Essential oils 101
March 9th
Bremerton, WA
Details and RSVP: https://www.facebook.com/events/179010709384128/

Intro to Essential Oils
March 10, 11am
Cherry Street Coffeehouse
Seattle, WA
Details and RSVP: https://www.facebook.com/events/1619180364856422/

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

183: How Emotions are Made (and how that impacts your business)

Feelings, both positive and negative, are part of being human. But when we try to deny or ignore what we’re feeling, our feelings can really mess up our creative businesses. Learn all about how to not let what you’re feeling mess with your creative biz on this episode of #ExploreYourEnthusiasm! Listen in at TaraSwiger.com/podcast183

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Think about all the decisions that are impacted by your emotions:
Doing a scary thing, you feel fear – is this a sign you shouldn't do it? Getting a grumpy email from a customer – do you react with anger? Or with shame? How does that impact the email you send in response?

Emotions are part of a healthy life, and I'm a big believer in FEELING your feelings, not just shoving them down or ignoring them. They can shine a light on what's going on and what you need to do or stop doing.

Because when they're ignored, or when you act on them unthinkingly, you can really mess up your business! You can lash out or hide or give up entirely, depending on what your emotions tell you.

Links I mentioned:

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

182: Fear of disapproval: get over it

Fear of rejection and disappointment are too real when it comes to running a creative biz! In this episode learn all about how to let go of the fear of disappointing people so you can get unfrozen and keep moving forward in your biz. Listen in at TaraSwiger.com/podcast182

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Are you unsure of your next step, because you’re afraid of the reaction you’re going to get? Are you avoiding rejection, because you want to have the approval and acceptance of your customers and audience?
Yeah, me too.

Links I mentioned:

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

Mindfulness: our favorite tools with Kara Gott-Warner

Mindfulness is essential to success in your creative biz, listen in to this episode of Explore Your Enthusiasm to listen to Tara Swiger and Kara Gott-Warner chat about about their favorite mindfulness tools. Listen in at TaraSwiger.com/podcast177

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In today's episode I talked with Kara Gott-Warner of The Power Purls Podcast, we talked about mindfulness, and some of our favorite mindfulness tools including apps and of course essential oils.

Kara is a knitter, podcaster, business coach, and also a certified nutritional consultant. She focuses on working with individuals who wish to create a holistically – balanced life and business that converges creativity with mindful living, – “knitting together” creativity, body, mind and spirit.

Be sure to visit The Power Purls Podcast for more about Kara's favorite mindfulness tools!

Links I mentioned:

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Habits make the business

Success in business is about focus and consistency. But how do you remain consistent when life get’s overwhelming? The simple answer is HABITS. In this episode of Explore Your Enthusiasm with Tara Swiger where we talk all about creating solid, sustainable habits so you can keep your creative biz successful even when life gets chaotic - listen in at: TaraSwiger.com/podcast176

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If you read any business book, it all comes down to the same things: your business is built from your beliefs, which affect your actions, and the most important of those actions need to become habits. Habits are what you consistently do day after day, and, as we talked about in last week’s episode, those habits build up to create success (or failure).

Links I mentioned:

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Are you limiting yourself?

Do you ever tell yourself you’re “not the type of person who…”? Did you know this is a form of limiting yourself? Learn more about how to stop subconsciously limiting yourself (both in life and in your creative business) on this episode of Explore Your Enthusiasm with Tara Swiger: TaraSwiger.com/podcast175

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I'm not the kind of person who….
makes a lot of money
has a super successful business
would ever be good at sales
could ever be self-promotional

How many times have you caught yourself saying a version of this: “I'm not the kind of person who….” I know I do it all the time, and my recent experience is the inspiration behind this episode. We'll talk about why it's true that you really aren't that kind of person and how to become the kind of person who reaches your goals and lives your dream. It all comes down to the habits you have now and the habits you can create.

Links I mentioned:

How to listen:

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

How to apply The Slight Edge

This Slight Edge by Jeff Olson is all about making slight changes to your daily choices to bring more happiness and success into your life. On this episode of Explore Your Enthusiasm, I talk all about applying the principles of The Slight Edge to your creative business, listen in at TaraSwiger.com/podcast174

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There is no shortcut to success.

To be a success, which is just another way of saying, to reach your goals and dreams, there isn't a secret sauce. There isn't something special that successful people know that you don't. It's super simple: You do the same habits, the same things you know to do, day after day. Over time, they build upon each other into a successful business, succesful relationships, and a successful life. That's the premise of The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, and in today's episode, I share how to apply it to your life and creative business.

I highly recommend this book! Buy it here. 

How to listen:

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Happiness and Radical Responsibility

Happiness isn’t something that “just happens.” You have the power to change your mindset, and spend more of your time feeling happy. Learn how to shift your perspective, and why happiness is essential to success in your creative biz at TaraSwiger.com/podcast167

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Let’s talk more about happiness and work – how to shift your perceptions, so that you can get more done.

A grumpy person doesn't get much work done. A person who is focused on all the reasons something WON'T work doesn't make much progress towards making it work. The good news is: you're in charge of this.

You are responsible for your perception and your attitude. And that, in turn, affects how smart and hard you work, and that affects your results.

Links Mentioned:

How to listen

  • You can subscribe to it on iTunes (If you do, leave a review!)
  • You can listen to it using the player above or download it.
  • Subscribe or listen via Stitcher (or subscribe in whatever you use for podcasts – just search “Explore Your Enthusiasm” and it should pop up!).

Find all the podcast episodes here.

 

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