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Commitments, change and the Great Blank Page of Life

Today's my 8th wedding anniversary.

 

I woke up this morning all glow-y just thinking about it. But why? We don't have special plans, or do anything crazy, but I love this day, nearly above all others.

I think it's because today is really about commitment.

I'm a fan of the Big Change. I'm changing things all the time. I moved states in 2 weeks. I quit my dayjob. I opened a yarn store. I closed the yarn store as soon as I realized it wasn't for me. I change how I sell yarn almost as often as I think about it.

Change, change, change – I like it!
(I'm singing this now*)
A year ago, when I was trying to decide between creating a line of mill-made yarn to wholesale OR  to write a book, I had dinner with Cairene. I told her, I'm afraid that I'm afraid of commitment. That I won't pick either project because they're just so big and long-term. What if I'm holding myself back because I like to change everything all the time.
And she said something like, “You are NOT afraid of commitment. You're married! You're committed to your business, and to your community. You commit to the stuff that matters, so you'll make good decisions about all the other stuff.”

That has stuck with me, and I remember it when I have big scary choices. I worry that I change too much, that I'm missing out on the benefits of slow and steady…but that's not true. I'm just very picky about my commitments. Because commitments are big, and they give life shape.

Celebrating an anniversary is not about getting married, it's about the commitment I made, not to just not get divorced (that's the bare minimum for being married), but to love this person. To figure him out. To communicate, even when I don't want to. To be vulnerable. To look at my Stuff. To let him communicate, be vulnerable, to see his Stuff, to see his very heart and to choose to react with love and tenderness.

 

 

This commitment isn't just to Jay, it's a commitment to my life. To open up, to experience it all and still stay soft. To show up and choose love and tenderness. It's not a one time thing. Or an every-year thing.
It's a daily thing. I have to daily choose love, tenderness and understanding. In every area of my life, in every relationship (even the one with myself.)

And there's something special about committing to this anew each day. Choosing this commitment again and again provides a kind of constraint to my change. A healthy, creative constraint. It's like writing with a timer on – the constraint allows a great freedom, because you know you can do anything within that. It takes away the Great Blank Page of Life, and fills in the outline.

Knowing that you've got this outline, this shape, creates a safe space to move in. I can change everything about my life, every week if I want, I can explore new things, I can set off on adventures, because of this safety. And the really great thing: it doesn't take the government, or a church, or even flowers (but I did love my flowers).

All it takes is a commitment.
To love. To choose. To live and feel and still, love.

 

*Uh, the words to that song are “chain, chain, chain, chain of fools”…but I, until this very moment, thought she was saying “change, change, change”.   Hmm.

Good Shtuff: Love Edition

Good Shtuff is a weekly(ish) snippet of the stuff I’m reading, listening to or watching.

This week, it's all about the love.

Love in your mailbox

The completely brilliant (and funny!) Amy is offering to send US Love Notes for HER birthday. Whether you need a little cheering or a whole year of Love, check out her Love Notes.
She's @AmysNotDeadYet on Twitter. 

Love in a circle

Today is the first day Leonie's Circle and I am SO excited. Even if the word “goddess” freaks you out, click through to watch the darling baby Ostara (+ puppies!) in the adorable opening video.
She's @GoddessLeonie on Twitter

Love in MY mailbox

This week I got a beautiful card from Retinal Perspective photographer, Elizabeth Halt.

Retinal Perspective Card
Sigh.
It made my day. Not only was the card absolutely stunning, but she had written the sweetest note in it. It made me remember how much I love getting (and sending) mail, so I'm determined to bring it back. Join me in the letter-writing love by getting your cards here. *
She's @ElizabethHalt on Twitter.

Love your story

Amna believes “we write our futures into being, and write our pasts into peace.”
Man, just that one sentence clinched it for me. Her writing workshop (for working on your personal story) looks completely amazing. I've worked with Amna and her style is direct, yet gentle, and so insightful you'll hang up thinking “wha? How did that even happen?” (in a totally clarifying way).
She's @AmnaAhmad on Twitter.

Love your people

I love my people (um, that'd be you) but I could always love you better. LaVonne Ellis is challenging me (and you) to do just that in her Customer Love challenge.
If your business is new or has hit a plateau, you need this. Jump-start the flow by turning up the love.
She's @LaVonneEllis on Twitter.

Love your business

I'm closing the CraftyBiz Kitchen this afternoon (around 3pm ET or whenever my last IdeaStorming session ends). Wanna know why? Experimentation! (For a full explanation, read this.)
If you're thinking about taking  the Newsletter classes, you can get them both + lots of extras for just $40 in the Kitchen.
Oh, and I'm @blondechicken on Twitter.

What's the Love-y stuff you've found (or written) this week? Share it in the comments!

*Looking for someone to send a card to? Pick me! DM or email me and I'll happily send you my mailing address and promise to be a very good penpal!